The Way I Feel Inside | h.s.

5

POV: Harry Styles

Bee was a very cautious driver. We hardly exceeded the speed limit the entire time, and she paid attention to everything outside the car as she hummed along to whatever song was playing. She had a wide range of music preferences - I figured that when I spotted the sticker on the back of her car. There were several other decals that I recognized as music brands but couldn't quite identify. Her shuffled music followed Taylor's song with a techy house beat that I didn't know, but it was fun to bop my head along to. I took a mental note of it and saved it in my music app when she went inside to get food. It sounded like a good song to walk to.

I was surprised that she recognized the songs I played from my phone on the way to her apartment. She didn't know all the words but she had the melodies down. I wondered if she knew them already or if she just catches on to songs quickly. She had a great singing voice too, a low Alto croon that reminded me of Norah Jones.

The drinks I had earlier with Sarah and Mitch were wearing off. I felt mostly sober by the time I rammed into Bee. Running from fans who don't respect boundaries usually ruins any good buzz. Perhaps I should have just worn the hoodie from the beginning of my walk. Perhaps less conspicuous trousers and shoes...

I don't typically drink when I'm touring. But we took a long break between the first tour and this one, and this is only the fourth show of the tour. The whole band has a lot of pent up excitement. Mitch, Sarah and I started a game in Vancouver the other day where we create concoctions with whatever beverages are already in my hotel room, then play various versions of Truth or Dare. It's quite childish, but we have so much fun together and always end up laughing so hard. I'm lucky to spend so much time with them. Even though they're a couple, I feel like I'm part of the relationship too. I've lost count of the amount of times the three of us have fallen asleep in the same bed. It's comforting. They're my family.

Plus I'm the reason they're together, thank you very much.

I looked down to my left at Bee as we stood in the elevator inside the parking garage of her apartment building. She was holding the bag of tacos in front of her and watching the screen displaying the floors we were going up. I was glad to see her hands weren't shaking any longer. Aside from the shock of being thrown to the ground and then coming face to face with 'Harry Styles', she was quick to exude confidence. I really liked that, made me feel less pressure to put on the usual polite front I do when trying to keep fan conversations short. I also enjoyed the way she did not - and still has not - asked me to take a selfie. Or sign anything. Or sing anything. She's just stared at me a few times. It's always a bit weird when that happens with fans. I generally don't always enjoy being gawked at unless I'm onstage and in the zone. But Bee looked so purposeful each time her pale green eyes took in my features tonight, allowing silence between us and not apologizing for it. She didn't seem to care about easing an awkward situation.

I think I liked the way she stared at me.

I've managed to make her blush a few times tonight. She's far from immune to my charm. And that comforts me. Plus, it was fun to see how easily she backed down from her attempt at a power play in the car, about Taylor. I wasn't actually upset, but it was sweet of her to immediately back down from asking me anything. It's not that I didn't want to talk about personal things - I rather enjoy being vulnerable. But I just met this person, and as much as I like the idea of getting to know her and vice versa, I need to be careful. My gut tells me she's alright, at least alright enough to be going to her apartment with her at midnight. My gut is almost never wrong.