The Way I Feel Inside | h.s.

3

I stared at him. He stared back at me, a mischievous smirk on his face.

Ah, that's right. He's been drinking.

I sigh and try to get my best serious face on, try to forget who the hell he is for a minute.

"Don't you think you owe me some kind of explanation for whatever all of that was?" I gesture with my hand toward the dented bush we had just gotten out of, then folded my arms over my chest, proud of myself for relocating my dignity enough to speak words to this man.

Harry smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, shifting his weight to one hip, mirroring my stance. Was he... mocking me?

"I was spotted by a couple of fans just up the road." He paused, and I waited for more. "I told them I didn't want to take any photos," he continued, "and they kept following me. They thought they were being subtle but it's very obvious to me when a camera is on me. I picked up my pace until I realized they were matching it, which is when I decided to full out sprint. I was able to turn a couple sharp corners and then," he gestured toward me and the bush, "then, yeah, that happened." His face became serious again. "Sorry again, really whacked ya."

"What are you even doing here?" I asked, but then I remembered as soon as I asked. I still waited for his answer though.

He furrowed his brows in confusion. "Here as in Seattle? I've got a show tomorrow night, the Tacoma Dome. We arrived earlier this evening."

I nodded slowly, like this was new information to me. "Gotcha. And why are you here?" I looked around us in reference to our immediate surroundings.

"I had some time to kill, and I wanted to take a walk after hanging out at the hotel with Mitch and Sarah - my band mates."

I nodded again and then blurted out, "I know who Mitch and Sarah are. I mean, I know they're your band mates."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked again. "So you are a fan."

I smirked back at him, enjoying his arrogance. "Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Sarah and Mitch. They're incredibly talented."

He raised his eyebrows then pointed his index finger at me and shook it. "Ah, I see what you did there. Funny."

I raised my eyebrows at him, breathing out a laugh. "So," I turned and began a slow pace in the direction of my car, which I could see up ahead, "I was on my way to my car to head home. Did you..." I looked to him timidly, "want a ride to your hotel?" It was a bold move, asking him to get in a car with a stranger, let alone a fan. I wouldn't if I were him. But I really hoped he would.

I tucked my lips into my mouth to hide my smile when he turned and fell into step beside me. "I feel like - I dunno - I owe you more than that. I mean, I plowed into you back there," he points his thumb behind us as he walks lazily beside me, looking down at me with a small smile. He pulled out a black phone from his pants pocket and clicked the home button before putting it back. "It's only 11:45. I'm sort of hungry. Want to go get food?" He grinned down at me.

I couldn't help but laugh at his charm. "Aren't you a little worried about getting in a car with me? You have no idea who I am, only that I know who you are." I looked up at him with concerned eyes. "If this is how you act every time you're drunk and alone, you're gonna need my pepper spray more than I ever will."

He laughed as he kept pace beside me, looking at me as if he already knew me. "I don't need your pepper spray right now, I'm confident in that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just a feeling," he said and I looked up to his eyes, briefly marveling at the green twinkle.

I let out a sigh to fake annoyance. "Fine, I guess we can get food. It would be smart considering you shouldn't be hungover for your show tomorrow." I fished my keys out of my purse, noticing the slight tremble in my hands hasn't left. I pressed the unlock button on my key fob as we approached my silver Subaru from the rear. 

I opened the driver's side door and slid onto the black leather seat, expecting him to open the passenger door at the same time but he hadn't. I frowned and hopped back out, looking over the car and seeing him at the back of it, grinning. He had his phone held up and I heard the camera sound. My frown deepened out of pure confusion.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

Still grinning, he faced me and held his phone up with the photo he just took. It was a photo of one of my bumper stickers. A white butterfly with the words TPWK underneath it in white lettering.

"Maybe I do need the pepper spray," he joked, a shit-eating grin on his face.

I exhaled in embarrassment and turned away from him to get back in the car, hoping he would follow my lead and not linger on the topic.

Thankfully, he did get into the car. He was still grinning at me.

I shook my head and laughed nervously. "Okay, yes, I'm a fan. A really big fan actually." I pushed the Start button to start the engine but kept it in Park and gripped the steering wheel tightly. I stared out the front windshield while I threw my next words at him in one breath. "It feels like this is not even real and I don't even know what's happening but I also know that you hate it when people treat you differently so I'm trying with literally every part of myself to act like this is super chill because this is fucking crazy and I love you so much-" I pause to breathe in a gasp at my confession of love to this total stranger, "-but now that you're here with me it feels so weird to say I love you so much because I don't even know you but I feel like I do but that's why I am trying to act normally because-" I stop and catch my breath for a moment, gripping the steering wheel harder, "because if this is real I want to make the most of it." I released the wheel and put my hands in my lap, exhaling deeply and still staring out the windshield. Silence filled the car for a long moment, and I waited to hear him get out of the car, probably afraid I was going to kidnap him at this point.

I heard him shift on the black leather seat beneath him, and out of the corner of my eye I saw his whole body facing me, one leg propped up slightly so I could see one shiny shoe dangling off of the seat. I turned my head to look at him.

He wasn't grinning or smirking, but he wore a knowing smile. The dimple on his left cheek was just barely showing.

"Do you feel better now?"

I inhaled and exhaled another deep breath. "Yes," I answered honestly.

Harry then leaned forward, placing his elbows on the center console between us and propping his chin in his hands, looking up at me innocently. Childlike wonder with the face of a grown man. "I like to think I'm a good judge of character," he spoke slowly and intently, as usual, "and I've only been wrong about that a few times in my life. And I've met a lot of people, a lot of fans." His eyes widened and he nodded to accentuate his point before continuing. I nodded back to let him know I was listening. "So far, you don't seem all that bad, Bee. If you did, I wouldn't be here. And it would take a lot more than the few drinks I've had tonight for me to lose my ability to sense something like that." He sat back upright but still facing me, resting his hands in his lap. He smiled brightly. "So, let's make the most of it," he echoed my words. "Where are we going to eat? I'd love a fish taco or three."