Helluva Boss: Hellish Love (Loona X Original Character) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 26: Sad And Energetic Car Ride

With Loona and I in the car I got onto the M1, early hour morning traffic was big, everyone was busy heading off to work for the day and he I was heading back to Birmingham with my Hellhound girlfriend to kill my cunt of a father. To get my mind off of things I turned on the radio and what was on was possibly one my other favorite songs 'Bitter Sweet Symphony', Loona looked at the radio with interest and asked "What is this song?" I said to Loona with a smile "Bitter Sweet Symphony, I'll turn it up and lets just listen it while we drive".

I loved that violin and I couldn't help but sing along to it.

(Sing along to it if you want)

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life
Tryna make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
(Have you ever been down?)

Well, I've never prayed but tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singin' to me now

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
(Have you ever been down?)
I can't change, oh, no
I can't change, oh

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life
Tryna make ends meet, tryna find somebody then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, noI can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no,

I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no
It's just sex and violence, melody and silence
It's just sex and violence, melody and silence
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you ever been down?
Have you ever been down?

After the song had finished Loona said to me teary eyed "Wow that song was something" I said "I know love, it's a brilliant song. It is about the feeling of being trapped and powerless to change your behavior or your life due to circumstances beyond your control. It is about the sense of desperation you feel as your life passes before your eyes and you struggle unsuccessfully to control and shape it. It is about the perpetual conflict between the path you want to follow and the path you are compelled to follow. I relate my own life to this song". Loona wipes away my own tears whilst I continue to drive down the M1 and she kisses me on the cheek and says "I'm so sorry that you felt that way Carter" I smile whilst teary eyed "Well I must be thankful in a way, if my life never went down the road it did I never would have met you the love of my life"

Loona got teary eyed herself again and I wrapped my arm around her neck and kissed her head and she said "I love you so much" I then said "I love you too" and as soon as the said that the radio presenter on the radio said "And that was Bitter Sweet Symphony by the Verve, and now here is a song to accompany it to lift your spirits and rock out to Elton John!" As soon as the host finished speaking the song 'I'm Still Standing' started playing, I said to Loona "No fucking way I love this song you have to listen and and sing along if you can!" 

(Sing along if you'd like who am I kidding you're going to sing along to it anyway it's Elton John!"

"You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win?
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing, you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Once I never could have hoped to win
You're starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus, you'd be a clown by now

You know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Don't you know that I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm still standing (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

After that song finished and 45 minutes had passed I made the turn off for Birmingham and instinctively I locked the car doors which made Loona feel unsure, We continued driving until I drove into my old neighborhood that was ruff as shit called "Chelmsley Wood" or as wee the locals in Birmingham called it "The Wood" our area has for decades had a negative reputation due to being associated with anti-social behavior and crime. It was one of the few reasons that I chose to stay indoors and become a social outcast, it was either get into the crime or stay at home and be abused and I of course chose the later. I then pulled outside of my old house where my dad's shit box was stationed on the curb in front of my car. His car was an old red 1992 Lada Samara that he's used since he was a teen.