Growing love and the seventh stone | Loki fanfiction

Chapter 13 - Breakdown

I whistle while I go through the corridor to our room again. I went shopping for almost three-quarters of an hour, buying food, clothes (for me and for the stubborn god wearing his armour all day) and an extra chocolate bar and Nutella for Loki. My mind circles around the magic that happened recently. What else can I do that I didn't know of? And how could I use that in the future?
I stop at the door to our room and go through my pockets, then I remember that I left the keys with Loki. I lift my hand to grab the doorhandle but pause as soon as I hear his voice rampaging inside.
"Why doesn't it work? Just why? Why am I not enough?"
I blink and listen. What's up with Loki?
"Am I forever stuck in this stupid, pathetic, mortal form? Wasn't it enough to take everything from me? Now I am left with nothing, NOTHING, and losing so much more? I ..." His voice becomes quiet, and it sounds almost like it is going to break. "I was a god once. What am I if I lose that too?"
I feel sadness clot in my insides like someone poured poisonous tar down my throat. Before I can open the door, Loki goes on.
"And this damned mortal girl", he says. "Feelings? Feelings is the last thing I need right now. Every little butterfly she awakens in me, every single one I want to rip out of my stomach and scrunch under my feet!"
My heart beats faster. He is developing feelings for me? He feels it ... too?
"No, I can't. I can't allow myself to let that happen. It would just ... I am not enough. I have to leave."
I hear steps in the room and before I can do anything, the door gets yanked open and Loki stands in front of me, teary eyed, while I still have my hand in the air.
He stares at me. I stare back. He breaths heavily and his face is even more pale than usual, his lips thin from pressing them together from being wrought-up.
I lift the groceries carefully, place them inside and close the door softly. Loki doesn't move. I simply stand in front of him.
"I could easily push you aside", he says.
"I know", I respond.
Neither of us moves.
"I didn't know the god of lies would tell so many lies to himself", I say tenderly. "You are enough. And you do deserve better. You deserve feeling good, and better, and absolutely great! You know what is left when you aren't immortal anymore?" I take a deep breath. "It's you, Loki. You are worth exactly the same."
I can see that my words hit where it hurts. In a good way. And even if it's clear he doesn't want to cry, a tear is rolling down his cheek.
"Let's do a tactic you never believed in", I whisper. "Fixing an issue together." I carefully wrap an arm around his shaking body and move him firmly to the bed to sit down. On the way I notice the magic book being thrown headlessy into a corner and a broken vase next to the nightstand.
We sit down on the blanket and Loki still shakes, not looking at me. I now wrap both arms around him, embracing him and shifting closer. After a hesitation, he leans his head on my neck and crys. Not loudly, he doesn't make a sound, but more tears fall down his face. Shimmering little drops, running down his cheek and falling onto his leg. And on mine.
We sit there for how long he needs, it would make no sense to count the time. After a while he breaths steadier and lifts his head.
"What should we do now?", he asks me, his voice hoarse.
I smile a little. "Why don't we start with something one can always do, no matter how mortal one is?"
He looks at me quizzically.
I lightly pinch his biceps in a playful way. "I am talking about physical exercise."