i know, you know, we know

Chapter 14

There's something to be said about the quiet that precedes unforgettable moments; it is heavy and hesitant, a tentative back and forth between decisions, the calm before the earth shatters.

Jennie feels like her feet are rooted to the ground, unable to take a step back or move forward.

After their conversation on the couch, Lisa had taken her by the hand and led her to her bedroom, neither of them saying anything for fear of bursting the bubble they've found themselves in. As soon as they stepped inside, Lisa let go, turning around to face her, brown eyes bright but half-lidded. Jennie finds herself almost hypnotized, her heartbeat a steady pounding in her ears, her body fully aware of the space between them.

She is terrified and nervous, excited and wanting. She has never felt so alive.

"Are you sure?" Jennie asks, unable to keep her voice steady but needing Lisa to know that if she wanted to stop, then they will, no questions asked.

(At the question, Lisa steps closer to her and lifts her hands. She feels Jennie tremble as she rests her palms against hers, their fingers splayed all over each other's erratic pulses. She is beautiful, and Lisa has never been more certain about anything in her life.)

"I am," Lisa answers, her tone rough around the edges, her emotions coming up to the surface for Jennie to see. "Are you?"

She doesn't know if she's trembling or if it's Lisa or if it's the both of them, but Jennie knows that they are both aware of what this moment could change, what it holds, what it cements. So, she moves closer, letting her hands travel from Lisa's palms to her arms to her cheeks – slowly, carefully, tenderly – reveling in the way Lisa's breath hitches when she steps close enough to brush her answer against Lisa's parted lips.

"I am."

(Lisa thinks that there's nothing quite like the knowledge that she is wanted, nothing quite like the way Jennie presses herself further into her when she wraps her arms around her waist, nothing quite like her almost unbearable need to tangle herself in everything that Jennie is.

"I want you," she says as she presses a barely-there kiss into Jennie's trembling lips. "I love you.")

Jennie feels more than hears the confessions, and she presses herself closer. She licks at Lisa's bottom lip before tip-toeing to kiss her fears away, letting her tongue declare the same confessions right into Lisa's greedy mouth. And they have kissed far too many times to count, but the certainty in her desire must have ruined Lisa's resolve to temper herself because her kisses are as demanding as they are loving, giving and taking over and over again until Jennie's lungs begin to burn. She lets Lisa set her on fire, unable to take the thought of being parted from her for the single moment it takes to drag a breath in.

When Lisa pulls back to gasp, Jennie almost whines only for the sound to get caught in her throat as Lisa moves her hands from her back to her collar, her palms shaking against her collarbones. Jennie understands the unspoken question, and even as her heart feels like it might burst, she holds onto Lisa's hips instead, tilts her chin up, and watches Lisa like she never wants to see anyone else again.

(Lisa shudders at the absolute trust in Jennie's eyes. She lets herself stare unabashedly at Jennie's kiss-swollen lips, the curve of her neck, collarbones peeking just under the crisp, white fabric beneath her hands. Jennie is all that she has ever wanted, and Lisa can scarcely believe that Jennie wants her back just the same. She wants and wants and wants, and she lets herself be greedy as she leans down to press a hungry kiss into Jennie's mouth before allowing her lips to wander down her jawline to her neck, whimpering against her skin when Jennie sinks a hand into her hair to pull her closer, her gasps loud in Lisa's ears.