i know, you know, we know

Chapter 16

A year ago, if anyone told Lisa that she would be living in a miracle she prayed for but never dared to hope for, she would have smiled something soft and sad and hopeful. She would have said something like I wish or please stop or wouldn't that be nice? She wouldn't have believed them because she's no longer the child who waited at the park for love to come back. She had to grow up and grow old. She had to pay the price with her naïve optimism, had to let life teach her a thing or two about pain and loss, had to learn how to trust her heart again. No, she wouldn't have believed them, but God, she would have hoped for it with all that she is.

But that was a year ago, and so much has changed since then. Sometimes, Lisa would stop to look at her life in disbelief, wondering when she'll wake up. She'd stand so still that she can hear her heartbeat and she'd wait for the other shoe to drop. Or, she'd hold onto the people she loves and she'd pray that she'd be allowed to live in this dream forever.

It took a while for her to recognize her present for the gift that it is. It took even longer for her to claim it as hers. Through it all, Lisa loved and loved and loved until the world around her gave her no choice but to accept that this is what she deserves, until she found herself surrounded by the very thing she's been giving so freely and unconditionally, until she had so many good things that she doesn't quite know what to do with her hands.

It's not always easy because nothing ever is. Their world is one that is full of landmines, and for every decision they make, there's always something in the line of fire. An inch too close, a sentence too honest, a second too long – every little thing and small moment could spell the end of them and everything they've fought too long and too hard to have. They can't afford to be reckless and thoughtless and fearless.

But when it's hard, when she's scared, when she asks if it's worth it, Lisa learns to find the places where love hides, coaxes it into her arms, and holds it tenderly (fiercely).

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Sometimes, love is easy to find. It waltzes into a room, claims its space, loudly proclaims itself as it is. And all that's left for Lisa to do is bask in it.

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"Leo," Lisa groans awake, jerking her face to dislodge the paw on her nose. "Your beans smell like the litterbox."

A startled oof escapes her when Louis takes the sound of her voice as an invitation to step on her ribs. She reaches for him and grunts as she lifts him off and places him on her side.

"What are you two even doing here?" She scratches behind Leo's ear, still half-asleep.

One of them gives her a meow in response. Lisa closes her eyes again, determined to sleep for as long as possible. May has been a hectic month for all of them, and she's been looking forward to this two-day break because it's about the only thing that will keep her sane through the mess that is June. She was supposed to go back to the dorm after she wrapped up her schedule last night, but her apartment was closer and she looked (and felt) so much like the walking dead that her manager took pity on her and convinced her to just head to the dorm after she's had a good night's sleep.

Ideally, she'd be asleep until noon. Except, Louis isn't in a very merciful mood as he wriggles his way out of her hold and climbs onto her boob. Her eyes shoot open at the sudden pain, flinching into the bed by instinct.

"Louis, why do you insist on hurting me?"

The bed dips by her ankles, prompting her to lift her stiff neck.

"Dalgom?"

The ball of white fluff gives her a cheeky whine as if it's completely normal for him to be here, tail wagging as he trots to where Leo is before licking her nose. Leo tries to bat him away but Dalgom remains unfazed, all too used to her cats' rare possessive streaks.