new york

Chapter 18

I looked at myself in the mirror. I could see the scars lining my body, some that were going away and others that would never. I threw on a shirt and grabbed my bag.

I was not ready for today. My first day of school.

When I told Buck I was going to go to school he looked at me like I was crazy and laughed. Then he realized I was serious. I had to promise to work every night now and do anything he asked. Which will suck, but not like I have a choice. Mrs. Curtis took me to the office and got me enrolled. I had to tell them Buck was my cousin, that took Buck a lot of convincing too, and soon I was all set. As we were walking to Mrs. Curtis' truck, she looked at me and told me how proud she was of me. That made me feel a little differently about school.

So now as I grab my old bag and head downstairs, I'm nervous. Sure, everyone will basically be in the same school as me, except for Darry and Pony. But this was school and I was nervous. Mrs. Curtis said she'd give me a ride every day, so I walked straight to the house. I'd never been there in the mornings this early, and boy it was crazy. Everyone was running around doing different things, talking and laughing. I saw Mrs. Curtis in the kitchen, and Mr. Curtis was at the table reading the paper. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hello, Dallas. Are you nervous?"

"No of course not."

She looked at me unconvinced.

"Okay, maybe a little."

"Well, you don't have to be. I made sure the others know to help you out. I'm happy you're doing this."

"Me too."

She handed me a plate and I thanked her, sitting next to Mr. Curtis. She came over a few seconds later and also sat down. Through all the chaos, I just looked at everyone. Steve and Soda playing around, Two-Bit yelling at the tv, Pony and Johnny talking about something. I didn't notice some tears fall down my cheek.

"Dallas? Are you okay?"

I came back to reality and looked at Mr. and Mrs. Curtis. They both looked worried. It made me feel even better.

"I just... I haven't had a home since before my mother died."

"Oh, Dallas I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay. It was so long ago, I barely remember her."

I went silent, thinking about my old life. I wouldn't count living in the warehouse as home. Sure it was a place to stay, and I wanted to be there at first, but deep down I always knew it wasn't home. This place felt different though. It felt special in a way I've never felt anywhere. These people felt special. I shouldn't feel this way, I'm just going to get hurt more. I can't go back to being the old weak me. And yet I can't stop it sometimes.

"Thank you. Both of you. I haven't had a place that's felt like home in so long."

"I'm glad we could help. I see so much potential from you Dallas. You might not but I know you are a good person."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not. I've never been."

"I don't know about your past but I see you now and I know, you are Dallas. I see it."

"She's never wrong either," said Mr. Curtis.

"You got that right," she said laughing.

I didn't want to argue anymore, knowing it wouldn't change her mind. I didn't believe what she said one bit, but I didn't want to disappoint her. For some reason, I don't want to let her down. God this place is making me soft. Maybe that isn't a bad thing though, I shouldn't have to be tough the entire time. Just most of it, and in public mostly or with Buck.