High Enough || DreamNotFound

The Things We Said

Dream's Pov:

I haven't talked to George in a month.

Everything I do, reminds me of him and it's slowly killing me inside. It hurts knowing that someone I loved so much can be taken out of my life in the blink of an eye.

After that whole situation happened, I told Sapnap about George and I and he's been very supportive this past month. He decided to stay at the house with me for longer than he was going to just so he can make sure I was okay. Even though I haven't left my room, he's the only reason I've been eating or speaking to another human.

I haven't been on any form of social media and I've only been texting family. I haven't gotten out of my bed in so long that it's like if I forgot how to walk. All I've been doing is tossing and turning in my bed that feels empty. I miss the feeling of warmth next to me. I miss the way George fit perfectly in my arms. I miss the way George would tell me he loved me and would smile at me after.

I would read his note every night and would eventually let the tears from my eyes fall onto the paper. There were times where I would think about everything I did for George and I wonder if there was ever something I could have done different to make him stay.

My thoughts were interrupted by Sapnap knocking at my door with my food.

"Hey dude, how're you feeling?"
"Oh you know, same old same old."
"This isn't healthy, you know"
"Yeah I get it."
"You should really just try to get over George."
"It's not that easy."
"I'm sure it isn't but it'll be better than just sitting in your room all day. I'm just saying but you know I'm downstairs if you need anything."

He sets down my food and walks back out. I lay back down, not feeling hungry.

-

I stared at the ceiling for a while before I told myself that this wasn't healthy. I knew that if I kept these feeling inside for much longer, it would make me feel worse than I already did.

I get up and walk over to my desk. I turn on my computer and the bright light is blinding. Eventually, I open google docs and start writing everything down. I want to go back to what I started with; writing a song about what I felt for George. I know it's probably not the best thing but it's the only thing that will let me come to terms with everything I'm feeling.

I type everything I've felt and surprisingly, the words just seemed easy to write down.

I could feel tears collecting in my eyes as I typed but I didn't want to let them fall this time. I pulled myself together and finished writing the last few lines.

I had been thinking of a melody while I was writing so I knew the idea I was going for. I walked over to my guitar and tuned it. I took it back to my bed and sat down. I practice the cord pattern and eventually get it to what I want it to sound like.

(Play Letting You In by Awfultune)

I set my phone up in front of me and record my guitar and my hands, making sure I don't show my face.

I start strumming the guitar and eventually get ready to start singing the lyrics I made. I can feel my hands starting to get shaky but I keep myself together.

I got your message
It's crystal clear now
Don't have the answers
So I'm feeling pretty down
They tell me to move on
But I don't know how
I still think you're lovely
Even when you shut me out

What about the things we said
To each other when we laid in bed?
Yeah, I can't even feel without you
I can't eat my next meal without you
What about the things we did?
You know, it wasn't easy letting you in
So how could you leave without me?
How'd you go to sleep without me?

I harmonize the strums of the guitar as I give myself a pause before I start singing the next verse.

I still got issues
With the way that you handled me and you
I wish there could've been another way
'Cause I don't know what you're doing today
And it drives me fucking sane
So what do I do?
I think I'm in love with you

What about the things we said
To each other when we laid in bed?
Oh, I can't even feel without you
I can't eat my next meal without you
What about the things we did?
You know, it wasn't easy letting you in
So how'd you leave without me?
How'd you go to sleep without me?

As I prepare myself for my last verse, I can feel my voice starting to break and I know that I won't be able to get through the whole song while trying to hold back my tears. I eventually let them fall and get through the last verse.

What about the things we said
To each other when we laid in bed?
Yeah, I can't even feel without you
I can't eat my next meal without you
So what about the things we did?
You know, it wasn't easy letting you in
So how'd you leave without me?
How'd you sleep without me?

I put my guitar to the side and turn off the camera. I put my face into my palms I break down and let myself cry for a while. I know this healing process will take a while so I think it's best if I just let myself feel sad for a while.

-

As I walk back over to my bed, I make the decision of finally logging onto social media again. I log into twitter and see thousands of tweets and messages of fans asking if I was okay. I don't respond to them but I go to tweet something. I import the video of my song for George and caption it Needed a break, but here's this :)

I send out the tweet and turn off my phone to walk over to the bathroom.

-

After deciding to take a shower, I come back out of my bathroom and get dressed in some sweats and a hoodie. I pick my phone back up and see thousands of replies on my tweet of people questioning who I sang that song about.

As I scroll through twitter, I see a discord notification pop up on the top of my screen.

George
Hey, can we talk?

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~1133 Words-