because he didn't love me

why i love him

Dear diary,

I love him.

And I know you already know that but I realised I never told you why.

It started at the beginning.

We met properly for the first time in the toilets....yeh really romantic I know

To add to the romance Harry peed on my shoe it was pretty funny he turned to me laughing quietly as he said "oops" I looked at him completely amazed by how beautiful he looked, I never really thought of a man being beautiful but he was so I just smiled and replied to him saying "hi"

So pretty much from the beginning I had thought he was beautiful and I guess you could say it was a bit of a crush but I never thought I would see him again.

Little did I know we would be put in a band with each other after a couple rounds.

From the very start we formed a quick bond.

I have a different bond with each other the boys but with Harry it formed so quickly and it was so strong.

With Niall we have a sibling relationship, me and Liam have a weird relationship kinda hated each other at first but now we are so close and I don't even know how to explain it we will bully each other constantly but we are always there for each other.

Zayn is my best friend, he is everything I need to survive, he's always there one time he told be he would always save me and I believe that.

Me and Zayn will always be friends.

Then theres Harry and we just clicked, we would push our beds together in the x-factor house stay up all night chatting. We live together, and I love him.

I can't even begin to tell you what it is about Harry that I love because it's truly everything.

Let's start with the most shallow part....he's hot as fuck.

I probably shouldn't say it like that but you know I'm not lying....what the fuck am I saying you're a diary you don't know what he looks like but yeh.

Instead I should say he's beautiful.

His hair....oh his hair it's literally the best thing. When I first met him his head was circled by large brown curls. Right now his hair somehow has even more curls and he's growing it out so it's slightly longer and he usually pushes them back with a bandana but at night he let's them free.

He worries that when we sleep if he turns his curls will go in my face, he apologises for it but it's so comforting for me it makes me feel safe.... I swear if anyone sees that they are going to think I'm such a baby but it's true.

His hair feels amazing and I know that sounds weird but when he gets stressed he tugs on his hair and I don't want him to hurt himself so I take his hand in mine and I play with his hair until he falls asleep. When I'm touching his hair it's so  soft it's great....I wonder if he think it's weird when I play with his hair...oh well he would tell me if he wanted me to stop.