Wonderland (Troyler)

Chapter 35

TROYES POV:

So the fans were laughing, but the people in the panel weren't, they looked as if the knew what was going on with me. Thoughts start to rush into my head.

"Did the see my scars?"

"Do they know I'm depressed"

"Did Tyler tell them?"

My brain always goes to the worst case scenario, but maybe it wasn't this time. I'm always the laughing stock, and always will be no doubt about it.

Now that I've embarrassed myself by leaving I might as well just go to my room.

I find my room, right before I unlock it someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and see Tyler.

I feel a rush of excitement fulfil my body, but at the same time I didn't want to see anyone, but I played it off cool as if everything was okay.

"Hey Troye, you okay? You seemed worried about something."

I stare at him blankly for five seconds trying to think of an excuse.

"No, I just didn't get any sleep last night, I was up with a a headache and I just feel a little nauseous right now, so I'm gonna just lay down for a bit"

"Okay, just call me if you need anything, like water or medicine or some food, and I'll be up as soon as possible"

I looked at him with half a smile on his face.

"Thanks"

"No problem"

He brings me in for a hug and walks away cheekily.

"Whew" I sigh in relief.

I unlock my door and shut it behind me and I just throw myself on the bed.

"Maybe this weekend isn't gonna be as great as I thought, I fell in love with someone who obviously likes me as just a friend, I got a butt load of hate that made me cut again, I embarrassed myself in front of hundreds if people, could this week possibly get any worse"

I grab the remote of the night stand and turn on the television, but I am actually starting to feel nauseous. I run in the bathroom and grab the trash can and put it next to me just in case I throw up.

I grab my phone and take a selfie for Instagram to let whatever fans I have know that I'm sick and won't upload.

I caption:

"Sorry to let you down but I'm sick as a dog but I promise I'll get on up asap"

I turn it off hoping whoever is left that actually likes me doesn't hate me for not uploading, because I know the fandom gets like that sometimes.

As much as I hate getting attacked if can't resist the urge to see if I have any hate comments.

I don't know what it is, it's like I need to see the hate, but as soon as I do I regret it, but I keep scrolling through them anyway, and it's like an endless cycle of torture and pain that I can't control or escape and I don't know why it's happening to me, I don't know what made me this way.