Wonderland (Troyler)

Chapter 29

TROYES POV:

I get up from out if the table and take a deep breath. I have never been this anxious in my life. I don't even know if I should tell him I'm gay yet. Well I guess I can go around it. I don't want him to know my life story. Besides no matter what sexuality I am hill never like me more than a friend.

I walk up to the elevator. It literally felt like I was gonna pass out. I had all this anxiety built up in my brain. He will probably think I'm some emo freak. It felt like I was in that elevator forever. I sometimes tend to get lost in my own thoughts, which is partly the reason for my depression, but not all of it.

I step out of the elevator and walk to my hotel room. I take a deep breath before taking a hold of the door nob. The hardest part was holding back tears. I open the door, and Tyler is sitting on my bed just staring at me, he's also tearing up. I walk over and sit down next to him. We sit there for 10 seconds in dead silent, just staring at eachother.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asked sounding concerned.

I just shrug. Partly because that's how I feel, but partly because I can't physically speak, I'm in so much shock, I've never told anyone about this before.

Tyler leans in to give me a hug.

I felt protected, and safe, but I know that's not gonna last.

"Why?" Tyler asked.

I look him dead in the eye. He looks back.

"Well it started in 9th grade when I was being bullied, both emotional, and physical. It kind of got to the point where I had enough. I stopped eating for a month. Then in 10th grade I thought it would get better, but it didn't. Everyone called me names, they would punch me, tells to die, and that's the time when I started cutting. I always hid my scars, but in gym everyone saw them when I was changing, and they would just laugh. I would stay up all night crying, just thinking of ways to kill myself. After nights of deep dark thoughts I knew that I needed to get away from all that so I asked my mum if I could be homeschooled. I became 8 months clean, then kids in my neighbourhood started making funny as well. I felt like I could never leave the house without being your tortured. So I just started cutting and fasting again. But I realised I was stronger than that, but I started again because, not to long ago, my best friend died"

I try to hold back tears, but I just began balling.

"And it's all my fault, she died in a car crash, I asked her to drive me to LA because my parents kicked me out of the house, and she died that night. I got so mad and sad I grabbed the razor and cut. She was my only friend. But I decided to start a YouTube channel that night, and it was the best decision in my life, except the fact that I'm getting so much hate, and it's bringing everything back"

Tyler just hugs me and let's me cry into his shoulder while he cried into mine with me.

Tyler looked up at me.

"One it's not your fault she died, I promise, and I'm very sorry for your loss, and you pulled through it, and I'm proud of you for that, you've been clean and that's a huge thing"

Tyler just brought a smile to my face.

"But why in the world did your parents kick you out of the house?"

I take a deep breath. I look up at Tyler, still with tears in my eyes.

I think I'm going to tell him.