TROYES POV:
I couldn't resist the fighting urge to check if there's any hate. It's like it's taking over me and I want it to stop, just as much as the hate which I'm getting for no reason, I don't get it. I hate my life, my own parents even disowned me.
I grab my phone off the nightstand and took a deep breath and just closed my eyes for a couples seconds, before drowning myself into the pain which I can't escape, myself hatred grew as much as peoples hate towards me grew.
I opened Instagram and checked. I was trying to hold back tears. The majority of the comments were so nice and polite. Some said
"Feel better Troye! I love you"
Or
"Get well soon! Just get some rest bby"
And a lot more, but there was just a few hate comments, but for some reason, that's what stuck out to me the most. They were saying things like
"Anorexic bitch"
Or
"How come your not dead yet?"
I throw my phone on the end of my bed and cry into my hands.
I want to cut again, but if I do Tyler might see my brand new scars and won't leave me alone, or worst tell someone else, but maybe I can hide them from him.
I had no control of what was now going inside my head, it was like voices telling me what to do, I have common sense but this is just ridiculous, I don't even know right from wrong anymore, it's like this evil in my brain telling me to hurt myself, telling me that I'm worthless and that everyone was right about the fact that I should kill myself.
I had no control, but when that razor is in my hand, cutting open my own flesh, it gives me this feeling of power, control over myself, that's why it feels so good. No matter how deep the razor goes into my arms or thighs, doesn't equal to the amount of pain that I've gone through all my life. It gives me a feeling I never fled before, and that was relief, a time to catch my breath, have something occurring in my life that no one knows about and it feels good.
I stand up off my bed not even double thinking about what I'm about to do.
***********************************************************sorry for the short chapter! I just got home from school and I'm really sick but I might update more today so stay tuned!
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Wonderland (Troyler)
FanfictionWARNING: Story includes selfharm, swearing, and smut The first couple chapters suck but don't worry I have a lot of ideas so hang in there Troye is kicked out of his house for being gay, so he's stating with his best friend. Troye also use to be dep...
