The Life of Jessie: Thug Life?

We'll See

The first month of my summer break went by in a blur. I spent most of my time at home, taking care of my siblings while my mother went to work during the day. Once she was home we all went our separate ways and Joshie would automatically cling to my mother's side. I would spend the rest of my time in my room doing whatever that would pass the time. I usually took a nap, knowing I would be sneaking out to meet up with the guys. As for krystal...we haven't really spent much time together. She seemed to be avoiding me. Every time I try to get near her, she finds some excuse to get away from me, when all I want to do is apologize for the other night.

The guys would tell me just give it time, that she is going through a lot but they were not the best people to give advise. The more Krystal avoided me, the more I hung out with Oscar and Junior, which Junior seemed to enjoy. Oscar ended up putting his dad's house up for rent and Omar moved in with Ms . Sandoval, they both said they could not live in that house because it would only drive them crazy. Oscar was now living with Junior and staying in Miguel's room, which didn't really settle with me but what say did I have.

Right now I was having some lunch with my dad and siblings. We were at a micky d's and grubbing on some burgers. My dad was asking how things were at home and if I was behaving. My dad only knew a few things about me but that's what happens when your parents split when you're 10 years old. He tried to understand who we were but at the end of the day he blames our mother for how uneducated we supposedly are. It's frustrating to hear him bash on someone he once said he loved and seemed it was okay to tell me. Their relationship wasn't the head over hills kind but I knew they did love each other at one point or I would like to hope so.

"Dad stop," I say, trying to put an end to our conversation.

"Pero es la verdad hija (but it's the truth daughter)," he justifies.

I look at the kids and noticed how all their attention was on our conversation,  "It might be true but don't say those kind of things in front of them," I tell him.

He looks over at them and apologizes to them but his eyes connect with mine and I noticed he wasn't sorry at all.

We sat around a bit longer, talking about Annie having a puppy and that only made me groan.

"I promise I'll take care of it daddy," she begged.

"Si este año garres bueña grados ala mejor si, (if you get good grades, maybe I will)," he said with a smile.

"Dad she's in elementary,  she's going to have good grades, " I clarify.

"But you didn't have good grades," he retorts, in his some what good english.

"I wonder why," I bite back.

He doesn't say anything after that and turns his attention back to my siblings. I slouch in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest and stare out into space. My mind wandered off to the small memories I had with my parents and all that came to me was the moving, screaming and fighting. They would come to me as movie clips, not the whole thing would come but the bits and pieces that did only made my blood boil. As a kid I saw a lot, to much I must say and I was glad at times for my memories to be hazy. I didn't want to remember and have this urge to bang my dad's head into the table. All I knew was, I would never let my siblings go through what I did and that was a promise I'm willing to keep.

********

My dad was dropping us off at home when I saw a familiar car parked on the other side of the parking lot.

"Esperate (wait) Jessica," my dad said.

"What's up?" I say and let out a sigh.

"About earlier, you know I didn't mean to say it in front of the kids," he says.