Fuck or Forget you (H.S.-AU)

Chapter 10

“Mum’s in hospital.“

I don’t realise that I’m crying until my vision blurries. The sentence hit me hard. It feels like a truck that smashes into you. See? This certainly doesn’t happen in fairytales. Ever heard of a fairytale, where someone had cancer? No.

Losing a shoe is surely more fun than having someone in your family, who has cancer. Or meeting seven dwarfs, I mean everyone wants that, if they are nice. I hope my mum will get better, but I have this feeling deep down that it’s the end.

The fairytale will end in a matter of days. There won’t be a happy ending, we already know that. Mum knows it too, so there’s no need to lie about it. My mum is sick and she will die - End of the story. My brother is sitting next to me, eyes red from crying. I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but I promised mum that I will take care of my brother. I even promised to myself that I will never let him down. We have to stay together, even if we have to live on the streets. I won’t let something happen to him.

“Joe, she’s going to be okay”, I assured him.  I know that he won’t believe me, he is a too smart kid for that.

“No. She won’t. My mum told me when we talked yesterday that the doctors told her she has about 4 months - 4 months until she dies – 4 months of pain. It’s not enough.” He told me, tears in his eyes again.

“Yes. Don’t think so negative. Doctors say that she has 4 months. Maybe she won’t even have the 4 months, maybe she will die tomorrow or maybe she will have another year. She will have, what god gives her.” I tell him as confidently as I can.

“If you say so. But who will tell me, if the girl I will bring home once, seems like she’s the right one? Who will scold me for drinking or smoking? Who will help me find the right tux for my wedding? Who will do these things?” He asked me full with sorrow. Joe doesn’t deserve it at all, hell I don’t deserve it either, but he is a too nice kid for that. He is mine annoying, but still kind little brother Joe.

“Joe I will do that. I will help you as much as I can. With everything! I will help you with girls, school and stuff that goes in your mind. We won’t live on the streets, don’t be afraid. I’ll find something, I’ll find a home for us.” I told him with determination. He is the only person, for who I’m so willing to survive. If I would be alone, I think I might kill myself. But it’s different with Joe.

“I don’t want to go to orphanages! I don’t want to live with strangers, even worse with kids, who have the same fate as us. They will remind me of our mother. They will remind me, because of what I’m here.”

“We won’t be there. I’ll manage something. Did the doctors say something? When will she come home?”

“They told me they will bring her back as soon as they can. The one said maybe even tomorrow. It depends on how bad the emergency was. I think it was really bad. She spitted blood … and you know. The other things. I think that she’ll be home in about two or three days. You know it never takes longer.”

“Yeah that’s true. It will take the time as you told me. As you know, doctors told us we shouldn’t visit her and mum doesn’t like it when we miss school. So we’ll just wait until her arrival. Okay?”

“Okay. I love you Mia”, he told me, hugging me tight. I felt tears coming but I blinked to make them go away. I don’t want him to see me break down, I need to be strong for him.

“I love you too. Now let’s go to bed. Goodnight Joe”

“Goodnight sis.”

Then we go separate ways. When I come into my room, I change immediately, because I hate the dress and it stinks. I’m finally in my Nirvana T-Shirt and shorts. I lay down and think about today’s/yesterday’s events. I’m sure I’ll arrive tomorrow at school and it will be hell. The whole school will see or most likely has already seen the video. As they said, they will bully me even more. “It’s only the beginning darling.” And I thought that when I made the dare, they will let me go and find another victim, but I guess I was wrong. I look at my phone and find the video. I don’t think it’s too bad. I think I don’t sing badly. I actually like it. Wait! 3520 views in about 3 hours?! That’s unbelievable. Even though I have already so much views I don’t need that. I don’t need the fame, they won’t stop and it won’t change anything so…  I scroll though the comments, when one catches my attention: “It’s called Forget You darling :* “ … Who is that? I’m sure he is so arrogant and annoying. I wanted to see his face but he doesn’t have a profile pic.  What a douchebag. He is surely so ugly that he doesn’t even post a picture, but he shares comments, god how I hate these kind of people. People who think they are better than the others. These people are so fucking annoying. But I shouldn’t judge so easily. I mean I don’t even know him. I still believe he’s arrogant, but he could be handsome looking too. I began to drift off into a deep sleep.