The God of Fake Boyfriends

The Whispers

A week went by and I barely left my room. Sam and Loki had taken turns spending the night with me. Neither one speaking, both men just holding me as I cried for another. When I'd wake up they were gone. I wouldn't want to hang around me too long either.

One morning I awoke to whispering.

"I'm out of my depth here." Loki. "Has this happened before?"

I heard Sam sigh before replying. "According to her sister, after their parents died she didn't leave the house for a month. She just shut down. Like now."

"What do we do? What can we do?"

"I don't know. All we are doing."

"Should we tell him?" At this point it sounded more like a hiss than a whisper.

Sam hesitated before answering, "truthfully, I don't know if it would help or hurt. But from what I heard from Steve, he's not doing much better."

That was the last of the conversation. I waited until I heard the door and more silence before waking up. I took a deep breath and got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Steve, Thor, and Tony were there.

"Hey kid! You hungry? Let's get some breakfast, anything you want!" Tony practically ran over to me and put his arm around me.

I shook my head. "Just some pop tarts for me, please." Thor passed me the box and I took a package out and started breaking it into small pieces and eating. They were all staring, not speaking so I sighed. "I'm fine, guys. I'm sorry to worry everyone. I'm... I'm alright now." I tried to say the last part as firmly as I could, but my voice shook anyway.

After eating, I went back to my room and changed to go for a run. Feeling the air rush past my face, music blaring from my headphones. I was going to be okay. I just had to stop thinking of him, stop caring about Bucky Barnes. I couldn't keep doing that to Loki and Sam. They were the two most important people to me. I would be better, for them.

When I came back, they were waiting in the sitting area. "Hey bug! Should've told me you were going for a run, I would've joined you." Sam yelled.

I gave my best smile. "I just needed some air, I'm gonna shower. And then we can do whatever." I walked over and kissed Loki's cheek, then walked to my room.

That night I woke up at 3am to Loki in my bed. I dreamt about Bucky again, so sleep was the last thing I wanted. I grabbed my headphones and walked to the training room. Lost in the music and my rhythm against the punching bag, I didn't even notice when someone came in the room right away. I saw movement out of the side of my eye and turned.

It was Bucky. Standing in the doorway. I froze and we made eye contact. He took a step forward and opened his mouth to speak but closed it. My eyes filled up with tears and I ran back to my room, nearly knocking him over in the process.

Once at my room, the door closing woke up Loki, who saw me crying and rushed over to me, arms ready to hold me. I immediately leaned up and pressed my lips against his. He started to pull away but I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. I started to lead him to my bed and laid down, pulling him on top of me. Still kissing him, I tugged at his shirt and started to take it off when he stopped me.

"My love, as wonderful as this is, is this the time? You're... hurting. It wouldn't be fair to you." Loki looked me in the eyes as he spoke. "And you're sweaty."

I gave a half smile before answering. "I just need to feel something good. Something... Not this feeling. I want you. Please." I pushed my lips against his again, and he gave in. I pulled his shirt off again and when our lips broke apart, he moved his to my neck, kissing down to my collar bone as he took my sports bra off. Soon after, my pants came off and his not long after that. We made love gently and in that moment I forgot about everything else.