𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

Almost Lover (40's Bucky)

A/N: Sorry this one is sad... I was in my feels

"Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream"

Falling in love with James Barnes was something you never expected to happen, but it just did. You first met James when him and Steve came into the diner you worked at. You were instantly captivated by his blue eyes and that pearly white smile. "Hi, what can I get for you gentlemen to drink?" You smiled politely, trying not to look obviously smitten by him.

"We'll both have cokes, thank you doll." That nickname almost sent you to the floor. You and Bucky exchanged flirty glances the whole time they ate. He ended up asking you out and you happily agreed. Many dates and dances later, you were head over heels for him.

He was just as taken with you as well. He wouldn't shut up about you to Steve, constantly telling him how pretty and sweet you were. You were one of the few people who called him James and not Bucky, you said it's because you just thought the name suited him so well. He didn't mind, his name never sounded so nice until it came tumbling out of your lips.

You had grown close to Steve as well, you hated feeling like you were taking Bucky away from him, so you decided you wanted to get to know him more. And he was a great and selfless man, you couldn't imagine not knowing him now.

"Steve, why do you even want to go to war so badly? You could lose your life!" You, Steve, and Bucky were walking back to your house after eating dinner and Steve couldn't stop talking about enlisting. "I got no right to do any less than those men who are losing their lives." He responded and you let out a big sigh, knowing this is something you just couldn't change his mind on.

The three of you arrived in silence to Steve's place first, and said a quick goodbye. "I know you're a great man Steve, but you're also my friend and I don't want to loose you." You hugged his body trying not to let your tears spill. "I know Y/N, I know."

You kissed him gently on the cheek before continuing to walk with Bucky, hand in hand. "Can I come in for a little doll? I need to tell you something." Bucky asked, squeezing your hand with a sort of nervous demeanor. "Of course." You decided to not ask what was wrong just yet considering he wanted to wait until you were home.

You both sat on the couch in the living room, and he grabbed both of your hands with his, rubbing small circles on your palms. "James what's wrong you're worrying me..." You couldn't help but ask, seeing as he couldn't even make eye contact with you. "I um, I got my orders this morning... Sergeant James Barnes, 107th."

He finally looked up at you with tears in his eyes, as your heart dropped all the way down your body. "No... You can't leave me." You didn't waste a second as you threw your arms around him hugging him for dear life. "What about us? You said we could get married, we were gonna have a family... oh James please don't go."

You were full on sobbing now as he ran his fingers through you hair calming you down. "I know darling... but I'm coming back for you. I promise you that." He pulled you back and cupped your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

"How could I leave the only girl who will marry me?" He joked trying to lighten the mood, you swatted his chest causing a small laugh to come from both of you. "Just come back to me okay soldier?" You pulled him in for a slow kiss, the taste of both your tears on your lips. "I will doll. You're gonna be my beautiful bride and we are gonna make the sweetest babies." He smiled onto your lips and you couldn't help but smile back at the thought of a little him running around.

You didn't think it would get harder, but watching him leave was the hardest part. You wanted nothing more than to run after him, but that wasn't an option. He blew you a kiss and flashed you a bright smile out of the train window. You held your tears in for him, waving your arm up to say goodbye, blowing him a kiss back.

You both wrote to each other back and forth. It was always so exciting when you heard from him, and his letters felt like he was actually with you for a small moment.

My dear Y/N,

I miss you so much beautiful, it's strange not seeing you everyday. I've met some great men and told them all about you. They agree that you're beautiful but I made sure they know you're mine... I hope to see you real soon darling. I can't wait for life together.

All my love,

James

When Steve came back to New York and got all... big, you were shocked, but seeing him at all was a treat and you were happy he was finally going to do what he wanted to all along.

Months went by and you hadn't seen either of you friends in so long. You were sitting at your dining room table, writing your next letter to Bucky when someone knocked on your door. You opened the door shocked by what you saw. "Steve, what are you doing home!?" You asked excitedly.

But your face dropped as soon as you saw the frown he wore. "What happened?" You asked, immediately fearing the worst, you felt the familiar fall of your heart, and you thought you might faint. "Y/N, I'm... I'm so sorry." Was all Steve said, and that was enough for you to know.

Your knees gave out and Steve caught your arms right before you hit the ground. He pulled you into his chest and let you cry every broken scream out of your body. "He said he would come back to me!" Your whole body shook. "I know..." Steve couldn't do anything but agree with you, he was just as heartbroken. He knew how madly in love you two were, and he couldn't fathom what you were going through.

Shortly after losing the love of your life, you lost your greatest friend too. Your life was shattered by broken promises, you found it hard to go on, but you had too. You had to live your life for them, that's what they would've wanted. You started working again, started dating again, and finally had the life you dreamed of. Even if it wasn't what you always thought it would be.

You named your first son James.