Love Is For The Weak | BTS reverse harem/poly-relationship au .

She's the cream of the crop.

Tiara POV. 

If I make this phone call, I could be really relieved. It will also help them better understand why I reacted the way I did. Maybe they would drop the idea and continue being friends with me.
But....

On the other hand, He could just be upset at me and hang up. I hope he hangs up.

Dialing....

Ringing....

Connecting...

"H-hello?"

"H-hi Tiara."

For fucks sake. The one time I acc wanted you to do something for me. Well, can't back out now.

"Namjoon... I'm ready to tell you."

"holy shi-. Wait let me get into a more private place."

I heard a few ruffles and some of the members mumbling.

"Alright, please take your time."

I took a deep breathe and proceed to tell him.

"As you know my dad is terrible. But there's much more. My mom was also pretty unstable while I was growing up, she didn't really put her self together until two years ago. My dad would constantly abuse and insult her and it made her miserable. He even had the audacity to cheat on her multiple times. Whenever my Dad wasn't home my mom would go on rants, that convinced me that love was a problem. She made me realize that love means being vulnerable and being vulnerable gives people a fair shot and hurting your soul and breaking your heart. Love means relying on people, only the strong don't need people to rely on. Love is for weak people. Love is like walking into a beehive filled with angry bees naked. Love means no freedom, and no independence. One day my dad came home when my mom was teaching me Korean. He did not want me to know anything about Korea. He got angry and grabbed her by her neck and... he um..."
My voice was cracking and tears began pooling in my eyes.

"Take your time, T." Namjoon softly whispered.

I cleared my throat and continued.

"He committed a crime of power, and dishonoured her, right in front of a 10 year old me. Ever since then he would abuse and devalue her over and over all while I was there sniffle," My voice suddenly became small almost into a whisper.

"I was right there, as he continuously he ripped her soul from her. And I couldn't do anything about it." I suddenly felt hot tears streaming down my face. I took a shaky break an continued my story.

"As you know I don't like to listen. So when I was 14, I decided to get a little boyfriend. Nobody knew about him, not even my best friend. I would leave basketball practice early to go and talk with him. He made me feel like my dad was just one corrupt guy, and that he would never do that to me. But then one day when I left basketball, he told me to come up to his room. I went because obviously I trusted him, and when I got there him and 4 of his other friends were in the room. I asked what going on and then they grabbed me. And they-" By this time I was in full hysterics, there was tears staining my face and my heart just hurt. Everything hurt.

"They humiliated me, I was violated and taken-advantage of. T-they passed me around like an object and recorded everything. I was beaten and dehumanized. I had passed out and when I woke up I was naked and on an abandoned road. I- I'm sorry that was a lot. I'll just..."

"Tiara, I'm sorry that happened to you."

"You know what hurt me even more? The fact that nobody cared, the fact that in my community a drowning black girl that is holding in so much pain and inner turmoil is seen as angry. People told me that I was just another angry black girl, when in reality i was in pain. Instead of reaching out to me and helping me, they watched as I drowned in my own guilt and pain. I-i'm hurt..."

"You didn't make it easy. But I'm glad I'm here for you, I promise I would never hurt you."

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MARQUEES SAID AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! MY DAD PROMISED MY MOM THAT HE WOULD NEVER HURT HER AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! FUCK EVERYONE AND THEIR DISGUSTING LIES." All I felt was anger and pain. I just wanted to rage, I wanted to hurt someone, I just wanted to HURT something. My eyes blurred with tears as I yelled at him.

"I've only been shown this most vile and most disgusting types of love. It's all I know. Maybe a painless and beautiful love does exist but I'm not worthy of it..." I finally calm down a little bit.

"Tiara listen to me right fucking now. You are beautiful, and talented and worthy of love that doesn't require pain. You are a bit of work but you have people that are willing to put in that work for you. I promise you and I'm not just saying this that a beautiful, and peaceful love exists."

"Namjoon, I can't believe you. I've need seen that, I've only seen jealousy, pain, suffering, and abuse. That's all I'm deserving of, How could you want to be with damaged goods like myself. I'm not good enough for you or them." I say calmly and hung up on him.

And for the first time in forever, I wept. I wept with my whole body and soul. I wept until there were no more tears left.

For the first time, I let myself feel pain and sadness.

I allowed myself to feel.

I came to peace with my self.

I calmed my demons.

I felt relived.

For the first time I felt... Free.

Eventually I fell asleep. Crust on my red and puffy eyes, my cheeks were stained with tears as I wrapped myself in a fluffy blanket. 

Namjoon POV. 

Holy shit. I couldn't imagine the amount of pain and hurting she's going through right now. Tears left my eyes as she yelled at me, i can't believe someone so pure could be bottling something so dark up. I just want to bundle her up and hide her away from the world, they don't deserve her. Because through all the stuff that has happened to her, she stayed kind in her own way. It didn't even happen to me, yet I'm angry at the world for letting someone so perfect have such a dark past. I want her to have peace with herself, I want her to be free, and talking about it is the first step. 

I  can not believe she thinks she's damaged goods. She is not damaged at all, she's the cream of the crop and the light to my life. I need her to realize this. 

 I refuse to discard her, I refuse to let her down like the rest of the world did.

 I want to call her back but I decided to wait until tomorrow because I know she needs time.

I go back down stairs with my heart aching for her.

"Namjoon what's wrong." Jin noticed something was up.

"Tiara is so...strong. The world failed her, the world let her down." I say vaguely.

"What kind of bullshit answer is that." Jin says chuckling.

"She'll tell you when she ready." I say walking back upstairs because this whole ordeal is just exhausting. I lay in the bed me and her had once shared and drift off with thoughts of her in mind.

A/M: DOUBLE UPDATE CURDIES AHAHA. I didn't want to starve the gworls any longer. Anyways this chapter was alot. Let's hope everything works outttt. 

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