Chapter Eight:Reasons and Regrets
I stood dumbly. Watching the space where Ben disappeared. Hoping, wishing, he would come back to me. He didn't. Finally, I found my ability to move again. I had to explain to Ben. I couldn't let him leave like this. I couldn't let him think I was in love with someone else. I ran down the two flights of stairs, nearly blind with my determination.I raced into Ben's room and stopped. It was completely empty. He’d even removed the covers. All the markings that made it his had vanished. Things I had never known I'd noticed were gone. I walked to his bed. Sitting on top, as pretty as you please, was Winston's letter. He'd known I would come and try to explain. He must have packed everything before he'd come to find me. Now it was too late.
I looked down at the letter, at its smooth clean surface, dotted with tiny hearts. Such a harmless thing, and yet it had brought ruin to the life I had built here. I was tempted to crush it in my hand, to rip it into a thousand pieces, but I knew I couldn't. I would eventually want to read what he had to say. Not now, not when my pain was so great, I didn't want more news of things I had no control over.
I shoved the letter into my pocket and curled onto the bed. Closing my eyes and pretending that Ben hadn't just left me. I had grown to depend on him so much. He had been everything I had needed to get over the betrayal of my family. Now, without him, I had no hope of anything. All was lost. Once again, I was alone.
I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew, Pud was standing before me, a bowl of soup in his hands, and a gentle smile on his face. "You should eat, Rory." He said slowly, setting the bowl on the ground in front of me. I shook my head and turned to face the wall.
I could hear Pud sigh, but instead of leaving as I thought he would, he curled up beside me, flinging his skinny arm around my shoulder. Hugging, offering a sibling like comfort I had forgotten. He continued to hold me like that, letting me cry, until once again I fell asleep.
It was well past nightfall when I woke. Pud was fast asleep beside me, huddled to me for warmth. While we slept, they’d thrown a blanket over us. I rose from the bed and untangled myself from Pud. He snuggled deeper into the spot I had been. I threw the rest of the blanket on him, watching as he clutched it tight.
They had also removed the soup. I was sorry for that, my stomach growled. From the hall, I could hear the sound of a storm beating outside. Without my cloak, a midnight snack was out of the question. I was tempted to go back to sleep, but I was too wide-awake. Instead, I went to the washroom, lighting a fire in the small stove. I sat before it, letting the flames hypnotize me.
I sat until the sun rose, forcing the night's storm into submission. When I heard Pud rise, I knew I needed to as well. I followed him silently to the kitchens where he made me a plate of eggs, and sliced me off a piece of last night's ham. I ate while he chatted at me, until the room was so full of people that he couldn't manage to cook and talk. I went outside, unable to bear the looks I kept receiving.
Pud told me Ben said his goodbyes to everyone before he left. He’d saved me for last. They didn't know I was the true reason he left. Without me, he would have stayed. They were his family. He would have visited his mother, but he would have returned to them. I had stolen that from them.
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Awake - Book One of the Spinner's Curse
FantasyEveryone is hiding from something; a secret, a lie. Mine just happens to be a curse, one bestowed upon me before my first birthday; a curse that says I'm supposed to die before I turn sixteen. But that isn't going to happen, because I have a plan. ...