Defiance

Chapter 9- Flashbacks

Brynn POV

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair as I stepped out of his room, realizing it was HIM I was most worried about. Now that I knew he was okay I felt a sense of calm wash over my body. I slowly walked to the front lobby and out the doors into the cold morning air, where the sun was just beginning to come up and cut through the thick layer of fog that had been left overnight. I reached into my jacket pocket and found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and walked over to the designated smoking pavilion that was far enough from the hospital to be considered "safe". I zipped up the front of my Northface jacket and sat down and lit a cigarette. I rolled the cig around between my middle and pointer finger for a moment before bringing it to my lips and inhaling the calming toxins. I held my breath, and the toxin filled fumes in my lungs for a minute, letting the sudden calm wash over my body. When I exhaled the mixture of carbon dioxide and nicotine it came out as a thick smoke, mixing with the cool air and creating a small cloud of gases in the cold air.

I reached into my other pocket and found my phone, with an almost dead battery and decided to see if anyone actually cared where I was or if I was okay. To my surprise I had nothing from any family members but I had a few snapchats and a couple texts from Clara, Devon, and Devanee. I opened them and they all said that they hope I was doing okay and they were sorry they had to leave. I decided to open my snapchats and saw I had one from Alex. Only one thought could come across my mind before I was thrown into a flashback.

--------- 2 years ago----------  ***WARNING! SENSITIVE CONTENT***

Homecoming. It was a night to remember. A night to be happy. A night for great memories, but it turned into my worst nightmare.

"Brynn. Get your whore self over here. Now!" Alex, my boyfriend at the time, snapped at me. With shivers down my spine, I walked over to him, nervous and afraid. He was abusive, but I couldn't tell anyone that. He apologized, didn't that make it better? I tried lying to myself and tried to think it was only a phase.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered nervously. He stood up and got within inches of me, towering above me and I looked down at my feet, covered in residual glitter from the 4inch tall heels I was wearing. He grabbed my arm, hard.

"Outside. Now." He barked. I followed him obediently, not attempting to try to flee because if I were to fail I knew whatever was about to happen would be so much worse.

"Fucking look at me when I talk to you, you little slut!" He yelled as the palm of his hand collided with my cheek, leaving a sting and a burning sensation behind as a tear dripped from my eye.

I looked up at him, choking back tears and he grabbed my chin and forced his lips onto mine, and I could taste the beer on his lips. I kissed him back, solely out of fear that he'd hurt me if I didn't. He pushed his lips harder and harder onto mine, trying to slip his tongue in my mouth but I refused. He pulled away and glared at me. He grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against a wall, making his ultimate intention clear.

"Alex. No. Stop." I muttered as I tried to push him off me.

I could feel my partially exposed back scraping against the brick wall behind me. The more I struggled, the more he pushed. I was quickly becoming fatigued by trying to escape his forceful grip. Suddenly I felt the cold grip of his hand go up my thigh and push the bottom of my dress up, and I went into a panicked state of frozen shock and I couldn't move, couldn't struggle. I just gave up. I knew what was going to happen. I was going to be raped. All my life I had said I was going to save myself for the right guy, but now I was powerless. I started to get mad, and knew I had to get away. Before I knew it he had carried me to the bathrooms and locked the main door and was working on getting my dress off.

In a panicked state of confusion I made an attempt to save myself. Failure was almost inevitable, but I had to try. When he turned me back around I found all my strength and courage and balled up my fist and punched him in the nose. I felt a small crack, followed by a crimson flow of blood and he was on the ground for just a moment, groaning through the pain. I ran to the door and shakily fumbled with the lock and  unlocked the door and sprinted as fast as I could to the front office, knowing that there would be someone in there to help me. Right as I went to reach for the door knob I felt a hand on my shoulder and instinctively reached around and threw my second punch of the night, only to find it was Devon.

"Oh my god Devon I'm so sorry!" I said through my sobs. I found that I had only hit him in the shoulder so he was okay. I wrapped myself around him like he was a lifeline.

"Hey hey hey it's alright. What's wrong?" He cooed to me as he cradled me in his arms.

"A-alex. H-he tried t-to rape m-m-me." I stuttered as sobbed into his shirt and kept a tight grasp on him.

"Let's get you home." He said with a straight tone, obviously pissed off.

--------- end flashback--------

We hadn't talked since then. He was always trying to get me back, but I kept running from him and the memories.I opened the snapchat and my mind was flooded with thousands of thoughts. It was a picture of him shirtless and the caption said

"Hope you're okay. Heard that you're in the hospital. Still love you baby"

In a thrash of anger I threw my phone at the other side of the pavilion and heard a semi-satisfying noise of the screen breaking. When it landed on the ground, face up, the screen was turned off and had a large crack going across the side of the screen. I put out my cigarette and ran my hands through my hair, finding my flashbacks could still make me shaky and scared to this day. I dropped my head in my hands on felt a tear stream down my face, leaving a cold  trail in its wake. The next thing I knew I was looking into the face of the last person I wanted to see and heard a spine tingling voice pierce the air.

"I still love you baby."