Speak Loudly.

Chapter 4

Date: September 15, 1995
Joey: Age 9
Shane: Age 10
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{Shane's Pov}

I had in school suspension for the week after getting in trouble for breaking Sam's nose.

But did he ever lay another finger on Joey? Nope.

When I finally got out of I.S.S, and walked up to the courtyard before school where we all gathered, with Joey by my side of course, everyone stared at me.

Joey face didn't have makeup on it anymore, but we had to explain the faded bruises on his face to his mother.

???: Shane!

I turned around and saw Luke behind me.

Shane: Hey, Luke.

Luke: Is this the gay kid you saved from Sam??

Joey looked at Luke rudely. Shit. Did Luke really just say that!? He's my other best friend besides Joey.

Joey: Just because I'm different doesn't make me any less of a human.

I wrapped my arm around Joeys shoulder and hushed him.

Luke: So you are gay?

Shane: Joey don't-

Joey: Well sure. But I'm a good kind of different.

Shitshitshitshit.

Shane: He doesn't know what he's talking about! Look, this is my best friend, Joey, who I saved kinda from Sam. He's not gay.

Joey:But you told me what gay was and I am gay. I think you're gay too.

Luke looked shocked and people who were gathering by us started whispering to each other.

Oh my god. Joey. Stop.

I wanted to say those words, but my mouth just hung open and made no noise.

Joey: It's too bad you're not very gay, Luke. We could've been really good friends.

Joey! No! Stop!

I wanted to insist I wasn't gay and he didn't know what that meant, and that I liked chicks, and that I was normal.

I wanted so badly to lie.

But my tongue wouldn't let me.

Instead, it mumbled.

I got really anxious and everyone started to laugh.

Joey was really confused. I shouldn't have lied in the first place. He's just not advanced enough to understand these things. Not like any kids have ever really hung around him and talked about this stuff enough for him to understand.

Except me.

Joey: Shaney? Are you okay?

Tears filled my eyes with anxiety and worry, as everyone laughed even harder.

Shaney.

I went from a hero to a zero in a number of minutes.

Because of something Joey didn't understand. He doesn't understand. And I lied to him, so it's my fault.

Even Sam was in the crowd of kids that seemed to tower over and laugh at me.

In confusion, Joey ran off to the bathroom. He was probably going to cry.

Sam: Go get your boyfriend.

I puked.

I spilt my entire breakfast in the small circle of space at my feet.