Speak Loudly.

Chapter 7

Date: August 25, 1995 (First day of school)
Joey: Age 10
Shane: Age 10 (almost 11)
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{Shane's Pov, still Ik}

It was the year that my school morphed with the only other elementary school in the district, because there hadn't been enough kids for two schools in this small town for fifteen years.

New kids. No Sam this year, he went off to our only middle school. A lot of kids who laughed at me were out. New kids meant more opportunity for me.

"Shane, I don't wanna go to school again."

I came back to my reality of Joey being here. My Joey.

Shane: Yeah.

Joey paced back and forth from his heels to his toes.

Joey: You're not gonna tell anyone about-

Shane: Definitely not.

Joey: Good.

We walked into the courtyard full of old best friends talking and reuniting, boys throwing some type of ball, and teachers trying to read in the last pages of their books before class was to start.

Shane: This is a new opportunity for you and I, you know?

Joey looked at me.

Joey: No, I don't. Please explain.

Joey said confused and some what taken back.

Shane: We can still hang out and everything! I mean, you're my best friend. I just mean, we can meet new people, have a fresh start.

Joey looked confused, as per usual.

Joey: You mean a straight start?

Shane: Shhh! Don't say the 'S' word!

Joey giggled and was quite adorable and mouthed an 'okay'.

We get called to line up in the line with our 'new' teachers.

I say 'new' because I've had the same teacher two years in a row now, and she hates my guts.

Fucking homophobes these days, am I right?

We were escorted to our new classrooms and given a seating chart.

I looked around the room, and I knew no one.

Great, actually.

I looked around for a pretty...

Girl. A girl. You like girls. You want to like girls. Try to like a girl.

God damn it Shane, try to like a girl!

Girls are pretty. Girls are beautiful, actually. Every one. But I have never found myself attracted to them.

I smiled at one, and she smiled back.

She was eh.

She didn't look like Joey.

God Shane, of course she doesn't look like Joey, she's a chick.

I can't keep thinking about him.

Hours pass and I'm okay. For now. But I need to feel secure with myself. As we walk out the classroom, I say hi to eh girl.

Her name is Cat.

Cat: I'm Cat.

Shane: I'm Shane. Like a kitty cat?

I asked and she giggled.

Cat: I suppose so.

Shane: Or like a baby kangaroo.