Promised You To The Moon (PUBLISHED UNDER CLP)

Chapter 9: His Point of View

Promised You To The Moon - Chapter 9

written by: four4ce

(A/N: This is Juan's point of view as said in the chapter's title.)

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"We couldn't do anything about it, I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Alcantara." Napa-tulala na lang ako habang naghihintay sa labas ng ICU. My mom died. Iniwan niya na kami.

Napa-upo na lang si Papa habang tanaw si Mama na nakaratay doon sa hospital bed niya, he was crying and devastated. Nurses and doctors were surrounding her, mukhang dadalhin na rin siya sa morgue maya-maya.

It's been so tragic since we moved to US. I lost my first love. Hindi naman siya literal na nawala sa'kin, pero 'di na siya nagparamdam sa'kin simula noong kinailangan kong umalis.

Nito lang din noong nalaman namin na may sakit rin ako ng katulad kay mama dahil namana ko 'yon sa kan'ya. Ngayon, wala na rin si mama sa'min.

I didn't know how to cope with everything. It felt as if my world was falling apart. Parang kusa na lang tumigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko at gumigising na lang akong may mabigat sa dibdib ko.

Kaya ko pa ba? Okay pa ba ako?

That was the questions I've been asking myself. I felt a battle in my own mind.

People around me seems like they were slipping away. People around me were slowly parting from me, and it hurts that I couldn't even do anything about it.

"Welcome back to the Philippines, Juan!" Napangiwi na lang ako nang si Dad lang din ang nagsabi noon sa kabilang linya habang hapit ko ang mga bagahe ko. Naiwan siya sa States dahil nagsabi akong mauuna na ako dito sa Pilipinas habang nag-aasikaso siya doon. Kailangan kong balikan si Elara. I promised her. And I will fulfill that... No matter what.

"Mag-iingat ka diyan ha? Go chase the love of your life, 'nak! Papatawarin ka no'n!" Huling sabi ni Papa bago niya ibaba ang tawag. I felt guilty for leaving Elara alone a few years ago. I had a very acceptable reason, pero 'di ko sinabi sa kan'ya 'yon. It was a matter of life and death for my mom, 'di ko 'yon sinabi sa kan'ya dahil nalapit na rin siya kay mama, at ayokong madagdagan pa ang bigat sa puso ni Elara.

I knew na ako lang ang tanging pinanghahawakan niya. Alam ko na ako lang ang nakaka-pagpasaya sa kan'ya. But I needed to leave her. Kahit pa ayaw na ayaw kong iniiwan siya.

"Ayoko nang maging parte ng buhay mo, Juan." I felt determination in her tone, and it wrecked me. Tinalikuran niya ako at 'di ko manlang siya nahabol dahil napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko.

Ever since I came home from US, ganito na siya. She was back to being a cold-hearted girl. I hated it whenever people judged her because of that. Hindi alam ng iba na ginagawa niya lang iyong maskara para matago sa mga tao ang mga palaso na nakatarak sa puso niya. It was just her defense mechanism to hide the pain.