Just Two Boys - Jaspar - boyxboy

Chapter 21 - Set My Heart On Fire

-Caspar POV-

I shakily set down the phone beside me. I don't even care that I might step on it later.

I feel heartbreak on my hands.

I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand.

I get up off of my knees.

I see an outline in my bed.

In the same spot I watched him rest his head.

My heart breaks even more as I glance at Joe's body shape, set in the mattress.

My heart aches at the memories of watching him lay down next to me after a long day at work.

Just the thought of us cuddling brings fresh tears to my eyes. This can't be happening.

It's all my fault. I shouldn't've let him go. I should've made him stay, I should've gone with him! I should have done something.

I've done you wrong, I regret it.

I write this song, trying to forget it.

I feel this emptiness in my chest,

It feels surreal, but I'm feelin' stressed.

This can't be happening. This must be some kind of terrible nightmare. It has to be.

Yet I somehow know it can't be. I've never experienced this much pain in a dream before. I've never experienced this much pain in my life.

I feel as if my heart has been ripped out of my body, leaving an empty hole there instead. Joe is my everything, it hurts so much.

I need to do something.

I fucked up for nothing.

I have to see him, at the very least. I have to see his face at least one more time. The words pain me as they cross my mind. I have to feel his lips on mine once more.

-

I speed down the highway, eager to see Joe. A cop starts to follow me and I pull over. I really don't have time for this.

The woman gets out of her car and sashays over. I already have my window rolled down, frustrated but wanting to get this over with.

"Do you know why I pulled you over today? And don't try to sweet talk your way out of a ticket, I'm taken." She wiggles her ring finger at me as I scoff.

"Not a chance of that happening. Look, I realize how fast I was going, but my boyfriend is in the hospital, I need to see him. I need to see him." I say the last words more to myself than her.

She gives me a sympathetic look and then says

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. I'm just fed up with all the assholes I've been pulling over today. But I can tell when someone is genuinely in pain, you're not faking."

Now I gotta just tell someone.

Tell someone what I've done.

The words spill from my mouth before I can stop them.

"It's all my fault! I let him go. I let him walk out that door. It's my fault he got into an accident. I could've stopped him. I SHOULD'VE stopped him. But no. No no no. He's in the hospital and it's all my fault."

The policewoman stays quiet for a while. Then, in a low voice, she says

"It's not your fault. You couldn't've possibly predicted what would happen. But it sounds like he means a lot to you. Go, I won't even give you a warning. Besides, my shift ends in a couple minutes, and I have a fancy dinner planned with my wife."