Only You Can Break Me

"What if we don't go that route.."

Lauren and Camila had went to the doctors with Emma a few days prior. Their fears were confirmed...she was deaf. It was something that her and Camila hadn't really talked much about the past few days. Her wife had been looking over the treatment options. Lauren already knew what to expect from all of it and she had made up her mind.

Both of them had agreed to talk about what they would do once the kids were in bed. Lauren put Cameron to bed after giving him a bath and checked on the twins before making her way into their bedroom. When she walked in she saw her wife in the bed looking over the pamphlets. Lauren closed their door behind her and locked it before heading to the bed and getting in, cuddling into her wife's side, resting her head on the woman's stomach.

Camila looked up when Lauren came into the room and smiled some to her. "Baby look at this." She ran her fingers through the woman's hair as she folded the pamphlet in half to show her what she was reading about the cochlear implants. "There's a high probability that she would regain some of her hearing ability. With hearing aids, she would be able to mostly hear us and she could learn to talk too."

Lauren looked up at the pamphlet as her wife opened it. She knew about what her wife was talking about. She had talked to some of her co-workers about their options...and they seemed rather bleak. Lauren nodded her head as her wife talked. "Yeah." She said softly as she realized how excited Camila was.

Emma was completely deaf...no indication that she could hear at all. Lauren sighed softly as she carefully thought about what she was going to say. "What if we don't go that route.." She said quietly, knowing she could be sparking a huge conversation that was about to happen.

Camila frowned some when she heard Lauren's short response. "What do you mean if we don't go that route?" She deflated a little bit. "I thought we were going to give her any chance that we could. I want her to live as normal a life as possible baby. I want her to go through the surgery. It's a short surgery. She won't be in recovery long, then she could be fitted with hearing aids." She explained, but she was sure that Lauren knew all of this already.

Lauren sighed, knowing that was likely the response she would get from her wife. She kept her head on Camila's stomach, feeling the argument or disagreement that was about to happen would go more smoothly if she stayed right where she was. "It's a lot of money to dish out when it's likely not going to have the success that we think it will...she will still have to learn sign language. And she likely won't be able to talk well." Lauren said, "It's not going to automatically make her hear as well as all of us just because she gets the surgery. It's a huge risk." She explained, "Do we really want to put her through that?"

Camila closed her eyes as she continued to run her fingers through Lauren's hair. "I know it's a lot of money, but we'll figure it out. I know she'll still have to learn sign, we all will. But what if it does work and gives her some hearing ability that she never would have had otherwise. If it doesn't work, then at least we can say we tried. Don't you want to at least try?" She begged softly. Camila didn't want her to go through any pain, but she wanted to at least try the procedure to say that they did.

Lauren closed her eyes as Camila's fingers ran through her hair. She had to be careful to not seem insensitive about the whole thing, so she wouldn't upset her wife. "It's a huge 'what if,' babe." Lauren said. She took a deep breath. "It could end up costing us upwards of $100,000." She said. "You're willing to gamble with that much money, only to have Emma possibly be in the same place that she is now?" She asked. "I've been talking to co-workers about it. One of the ENT specialists said that there is no guarantee that it will work. She likely will not be able to hear us completely...just. I don't know. I'm not sure what we should do."

"I know it's a huge what if, Lauren," Camila shot back at her. It was rare for them to use their real names with one another. "I'm aware of the cost. We'll have to pick up whatever the insurance wouldn't cover for her. Your insurance is top notch, so it should pick up a huge chunk of that. I know it's a what if. I want to try the what if." Camila leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "Either way, she'll grow up wondering why she's different from Ethan and why she's different from the others."

Lauren shifted so she was sitting up. She didn't want to start a fight with her wife, but she also didn't want Camila to have false hope. "I know that..." She said softly. Lauren looked over at her wife and sighed softly before taking her hand in her own and continuing, "Yeah. Either way she will be different...but she's still our kid. We will do everything we can to help her have the best life possible, but I don't know if that should include having a surgery that may not even help her." She explained as she gently rubbed her other hand over Camila's arm, trying to keep the both of them calm.

Camila lifted her head then. "So trying to help our daughter isn't worth it?" She frowned. "I know it's a lot of money, Lauren. I know that it might not work..." she repeated before sighing some. "I know we'll give her the best damn life possible. But I don't think you understand how much I want to try this for her. There is a chance that she could hear us. I want that chance for her to hear us. Ethan hears us. You see how he lights up just from hearing us. Emma jumps when we touch her, no matter how much we try not to scare her. She still jumps." Camila pulled her arms up to fold them over her chest as she looked right at her wife.

Lauren frowned when Camila pulled her hand away and crossed her arms. She looked down in her lap as she shook her head and just moved over to her side of the bed. She was starting to just shut down...she didn't want to fight with Camila about it. Lauren laid down and rolled to face away from the woman.

"Fine. We'll do the surgery." Lauren said as she pulled the blanket up to cover her body. All of this hurt...it did suck that their daughter couldn't hear them...that she may never hear them. It was taking a toll on Lauren and if giving in to what her wife wanted meant the two of them not having a serious fight...then that's what she would have to do.

Camila felt her heart sink some as she watched Lauren turn away. She knew what was happening with her wife and just sighed softly. Without a word, she put the pamphlet to the side and climbed out of bed. Going for a bit of fresh air would prevent them from having a fight. Camila just shook her head softly as she left the bedroom and made her way downstairs. She didn't want to admit that she was terrified too that they would put all of that money into the surgery and nothing would come from it. Camila poured herself a small glass of juice before she just sat at the table and let her tears finally come out. She wanted so badly for it to work for Emma, but knew there was a high chance that it wouldn't.

AN: Hello there. :) Barely edited. Plz be nice. I'll try to keep updating somewhat regularly. Most of you know I have other stories I've written...if you want to see more of those or sequels or whatever holla at me (if anyone wants to be part of creating it, let me know!).