MINE! (Complete)

P4- She Has To Want Me

"Camila!" I pay no attention to all the faces that turn to watch us I just take long strides through the car park, following the mass of black curls that is almost running to get away from me

"Camila just keep walking, ignore him!" I hear Jenni advising her and I want to grab her by her wide shoulders and throw her as far away from us as possible.

I need to be able to speak to Camila and she needs to be able to hear me and for that to happen Jenni Walters needs to be as far away from us as possible

"Jenni mind your own fuckin business, this is between Camila and me!"

"She doesn't want to speak to you Shawn, she doesn't want anything to do with you"

I watch as Camila keeps her head down, fumbling in her purse for something, probably her car keys and I know I have to get to her, speak to her before she can drive out of this parking lot

"Camila please..." I'm just within grabbing distance as I reach out for her hand but before I can make contact Jennies hands are on my chest pushing me away as hard as she can, unfortunately for her I'm a good foot taller than her and a hell of a lot stronger too as I plant my feet and refuse to budge

"Camila just go to the car..."

"Camila please talk to me" I see her hesitate but she doesn't look at me she just keeps hunting for whatever she's so desperate to find in her purse "Camila... baby..." her head shoots up at the sound of the pet name, our eyes meeting for a split second before she shakes her head and again rummages in her purse but this time my hand manages to make contact with hers and again she looks up at me as though I had electrocuted her

"Don't touch her!" Yells Jenni as she slaps my hand but I just wrap my fingers around Camilas wrist and stare at her but her gaze has dropped to her feet

"Camila... baby please look at me" she shakes her head and keeps her gaze on her battered red converse

"Get your hands off her Shawn or I'll scream. How about I call the police? Are you ready to head back to your jail cell?"

My hand quickly unwraps from Camilas wrist and I feel my body screaming at me not to let her go, she's been gone long enough, never let her go again but I can't go back to jail and I can't trust that Jennie won't try her hardest to send me back there

"Mila I want you to talk to me, please baby, please talk to me "

"She doesn't want to, She doesn't want you!"

Jennis words slam into my brain and then ricochet down into my chest.

She does want me

She has to want me

"She has a new boyfriend Shawn, she's moved on, now FUCK OFF and do the same" she grabs Camilas arm and drags her away from me

'She has a new boyfriend...'

My mind turns somersaults in my skull

'She's moved on...'

I lift my head just in time to see Camila slipping into the drivers seat of a black Mercedes

She got money...

She passed her drivers test...

I can't help but smile as I remember how terrified she used to get when I would try to give her driving lessons and then how those lessons always ended up on the back seat of my car

The car reversed and then stalled, moved forward in kangaroo hops and then stalled

She's nervous...

She's thinking about me...

The wheels screech against the asphalt and then the black Mercedes screeches out of the parking lot and I dig my hands deep into my pockets

She wants me...

She has to want me

I repeat it to myself over and over knowing all I have to do is get her alone

God I need the two of us in a room alone

Nothing I have seen today has convinced me it's over, not the boy, not the lube, not Jennis chatter.

Camila and I are end game and the game is just beginning

********************

"Fuck!" I shout out loud whilst slamming the pan down onto the kitchen bench

My spaghetti is a disaster the water is boiled dry, the food soft and slimy.

Harry is due here in 10 minutes and my entire apartment is a disaster zone

Why did I have to run into Shawn today of all days?

Why did I react the way I did?

Why did I run?

I should have looked at him like he was nothing, acknowledged him as though he was nothing and then left him in my dust believing he was nothing to me but instead I freaked out.

My entire body and brain reacted to him the way it always had and I panicked

I'm not that Camila anymore, I'm not his Camila. I should have let him know that but instead I acted like prey running away from the predator and I know Shawn well enough to know that would have done nothing but turn him on

"Hiya love" Harry walks through my front door with a bunch of red roses in his hands. Usually I would have found his Englishness so cute but today all I can think about is the fact Shawns mom is English.

"Hi" it's not much of a greeting but I press a kiss to his cheek, taking in the scent of his cologne and then taking the roses from his hands

"You burnt it?" He asks whilst turning up his nose and looking into the pan of pasta

"Sorry" I whisper and his arm wraps around my waist

"I date you because I like you Camila, not because of your cooking skills" I tuck my arms around his waist and hold him close but my body feels cold "pizza?"

"Can I have wine?" I ask knowing how desperately my body craves any form of release

"You can have anything you want" he replies whilst kissing the tip of my nose and then reaching for the bottle of red wine that is sat breathing on the counter "How was your day? Everything good?"

I gulp down some of the wine whilst my mind tries to weaves its way through the happenings of the day.

Do I tell him about Shawn?

Does it make any difference to us... to our relationship?

I grip his neck and pull his mouth to mine

"Okay, you missed me I see" he laughs as his fingers graze over my chin "I'll order pizza then we can Netflix and chill.. okay?"

My stomach flips at the thought

I know what he's suggesting and maybe just yesterday I would have felt the same but now...

The scent of Shawn still lingers in my nostrils as every part of my body begs me to give in to him

"Hawaiian?" He asks with that note of disgust most people have whilst considering pineapple on a pizza

"Thank you" i reply whilst reaching for his hand and squeezing my thanks

"You can thank me properly later" he says whilst snatching my lips up with his and digging his hands into my hips

Four months together and four months of this... why now does it feel so dirty? Why does it feel so wrong?