25: Self Reliance

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ITS JUNE 1st! So I had to update! Thank you so much for the kind comments it really means a lot. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

That night I tossed and turned restlessly. After helping in the inn for hours I had finally earned a place to sleep for the night. Not a comfortable place, a small cot in the corner of a storage room, but still a place. The wights hadn't found me yet but I was certain they hadn't given up and gone home. They had to be somewhere in this town.

I had also learned where I was after asking the barkeep, who raised his eyebrow at me in confusion that I didn't know where I was, and he had said Laugharne, a small town on the south coast of Carmarthenshire. The Carmarthenshire I had been having dreams of.

I didn't know what to do next. I was sad and alone. No Enoch, Emma, Bronwyn, Horace, Jacob, Claire, Fiona, Hugh, Millard, or Olive. I didn't know where they were. Had they left the island? Had they been able to get back in time for Miss Peregrine to reset the loop? Or had the bomb dropped on the house? Were they looking for me? Most of all, I was scared. No guidance or smarts or help was on the way and I didn't know what to do with myself. I could head back to the island but there was no way I could cross that body of water with a rowing boat by myself. Plus they'd catch me immediately on the open sea. The next thing I knew was the clock tower from my dream. It was somewhere close by. My only chance of finding anyone would be going there after all Horace had dreamed that we were all at the clock tower. First thing tomorrow I decided, I would ask the barkeep if he knew of the clock tower and leave as quickly as I could.

And so that morning I awoke more tired than when I had fallen asleep. My bones weary and my spirits low.

After receiving some food from the cook I began asking questions. From his rather vague answers, as he hadn't left this town in a while, I was able to deduce that a town not far from here to the East had a red brick church with a clock tower like the one in my dream. Although churches were common this one was distinct for its history. I asked the barkeep what this history was but he said he didn't remember exactly, something about some strange children.

Just as the sun rose I set out into the streets of Laugharne, unsure on how I would reach my destination. Walking was an option however that would take a while and I'd be more vulnerable to wights. Trains were another option however I didn't have any money and I would certainly be abnormal as a young girl alone during the wartime. They would be sure to check my ticket, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Nonetheless it was the best option and I began walking towards where I had been told the station was.

Around twenty minutes later I arrived at the desolate and tiny train station. Calling it a station was generous, it held a wooden platform with a painted sign reading Laugharne and a small cubicle with a window where tickets were sold out of. On the platform stood few and far between passengers looking out onto the rails for the trains arrival.

Walking past the ticket seller without buying a ticket would be foolish so I hid behind a random tree, keeping an eye out for wights as well. My plan was to hop on to the back of the last cart of the train, where the little balcony thing was and a railing, once the train was about to leave. A few moments later the screeching sound of the train filled my ears and it slowly came to a halt. The passengers on the platform boarded the train and had their tickets checked and the train began moving again at a slow speed. I dashed behind the ticket cubicle, heading for the back of the train. The train was picking up pace already as I pulled myself onto the outside of the railing. Wind blew and tugged at my clothes, which were much too big for me, and my hair. Quickly I swung myself over the railing and settled on the floor of the train. The early autumn wind was chilly and I huddled against my knees for warmth.

Luckily no one came out to the back of the train and I wasn't caught. Four hours later the train pulled up at my stop, Llanelli.

The train station was much bigger than the one in Laugharne and busier too. People pushed past me heading for different trains, there weren't many but all of them seemed to be full, as I headed for the exit. I tried to follow crowds to stay unseen as I walked out onto the street. It seemed as though everyone was leaving as the people were sparse and far apart out here. I spotted a grocery store and a pharmacy and a few inns however the majority were houses. Presumably many of the people were leaving for the countryside rather than staying here in this small city during the war time. With each step I felt more exposed, my only cover was the foggy weather making my hair damp.

Once I was safely in a smaller street I began searching the skies for a red brick clock tower. This had to be it, I thought, I wouldn't know what to do if it weren't.

Panic and excitement mingled, I spun around desperately looking for those red bricks that I felt should be here. That tall clock tower had been the one piece of hope I had clung onto for the past few days ever since I had been taken away from the island, from my friends, from Enoch.

But alas, the sky remained empty. There were no clock towers. Was it maybe too short too be seen from the streets, I wondered? And so clinging onto that thought I continued walking in search of the clock tower.

Eventually I stepped into the pharmacy I had seen by the train station to ask. The little bell above the door rung as I stepped inside to the warm air.
Luckily, the shop was mostly empty apart from a few elders walking in and out of aisles. Behind the counter was a short woman with a sweet smile, the first smile I had seen in a while, who greeted me.
"Hello, how may I help you today?" she asked as I walked up to the counter. Her face grew a little concerned as she saw my appearance, oversized men's work clothes with my wet hair hung over my face and shoulders.
"There's this clock tower," I began hesitantly, "it's made of red brick and I heard it was here but I can't find it."
"I'm very sorry to disappoint you miss but a bomb fell on our little city just yesterday, destroying that exact clock tower that you speak of," she said, "that's why everyone's been leaving."
The world around me slowed and began to collapse, how would I ever find my friends now? This was the one place apart from Miss Peregrines home that we both knew of. Now it would take me months, years even to find them or for them to find me.
"But- but no that's not possible. A man in Laugharne told me about it just this morning."
"News of the bomb hasn't spread very far yet as the bomb just fell recently," she told me.
Now I was truly lost. I had no one and nowhere to go to. No one to ask help of or tell me where to go. In that money I felt like just falling to the floot and crying but I stayed upright as to not concern the woman further.
"The ruins are still there though," the woman said after scanning my face, "if you were going to meet someone there. If you just follow this main street and turn right past the closed you store and then another right after the fountain you'll find it. "
I nodded my thanks and left the store. The air seemed even colder now and the sky was dark. I had nowhere to stay.
Following the woman's directions I walked forward on the wet cobblestone floor, taking a right past the closed toy store, the dolls on display collecting dust. Another right past the fountain of water gushing out of a fishes mouth as a small brass boy held it.

I saw the smoke before I saw the tower. It rose off the cracked red bricks as everything lay in a big pile. I could see the clock face cracked and broken peeking out from underneath more rubble. The whole perimeter was roped off but the work day was over and no one was making reparations. The street behind was also a steaming crater, the cobble stone was now just a mess of rubble.
With no one around I finally fell to my knees and cried. The tears mixed with the wet air, my knees wet from the muddy floors. I cried about everything and anything. I was exhausted and scared and alone. I missed my friends and I missed the safety of the home.

And so if you looked out on the streets of Llanelli at 9pm that September of 1940 you would have seen a girl finally realizing what had happened. Finally realizing how she may never see her friends again. Finally realizing how life would never go back to how it was for a very long time. You would see a girl who had collapse under the weight of war and pain. Her hair and clothes wet and her tears streaking her muddy face.
And if you kept looking you would see her rise and you would see her determination. You feel and know that she was going to be okay as long as she looked forward.
You would see a girl who was stronger than everything she faced.
A girl who would save herself.

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