by my side | jaywon

08

——
"i want to build
a new world for you
and tuck it
inside your heart"
- ??? -
——
part eight:

I took everyday for granted. Was the thought that ran through Jay's head at least a hundred times a day. He wasn't sure how many days exactly it has been since Jungwon had canceled their date and completely shut him out. He didn't want to be reminded everyday about it anyways. "It's been 5 days since he began to ignore me." That would be far too harsh on Jay's heart.

Jay thought he was doing a great job. He thought all of the little moments he had with Jungwon were special, he thought Jungwon truly felt the same way towards him. In fact, Jay hasn't seen Jungwon in a while and some days he wouldn't see him at all.

"Has anyone seen Jungwon?" Jay asked, sitting beside Sunoo, Ni-ki, and Sunghoon. They all thought for a few moments before they all shook their heads. "I saw him in math but he disappeared as soon as class ended" Ni-ki stated with a hand reaching for his pencil. "What did I do this time..." Jay whispered to himself.

— 𖤐 —

It was a new week and Jay had seen Jungwon a few times, thankfully. The first encounter was during passing time. Jungwon and Jay crossed paths on their way to their sixth period but when Jay tried to wave and greet the younger, he was given the cold shoulder. The older tried to stop him and stood in his way for a few seconds but Jungwon just look up at him with a straight face. "Excuse me, I don't want to be late." He glared and went around him, quickly blending into the crowd before him.

The next encounter was at the cafeteria. It was lunch time and all of his friends were busy with their own work in class, so Jay was alone. He was eating in silence, observing everyone around him when he saw the younger walking around trying to find an empty seat. All of the tables were full of different friend groups and he watched as he pouted with each full table he passed.

"Jungwon! Come sit here!" Jay called out, waving his hands at the male. Jungwon's lips turned up into a smile but faltered when he saw who called upon him, walking towards him with a frown. "I'm eating quickly and leaving, I have a meeting to attend with the advisors." Jungwon always seemed too proper when he talked with Jay now. He talked to the older as if they hadn't talked before, as if he didn't personally know him at all. "Oh, that's alright. Just... just take a seat" And Jungwon did just that. He scarfed down his food and left without a word.

The third and last encounter was after school on his walk home. Because they used to walk home all the time, Jungwon began to walk home at a later time to make sure he didn't run into the older. But quickly, Jay noticed and decided to hang around school for a little before walking home. And just as he predicted, he saw Jungwon walking down the sidewalk parallel from where he was. The younger had ear phones in, bopping his head slowly to whatever music he was listening to. It was odd, not seeing a smile plastered on his face. Everyone found it odd but nobody dared to ask. Well nobody knew except for Jay but even Jay himself, had yet to find out why the older wasn't speaking to him anymore.

Jay fought the urge to try and call for him. He came to a conclusion that even if he did yell trying to gain the younger's attention, he would only run off towards his house faster. So instead, he admired from afar. He smiled whenever Jungwon did and tried not to laugh whenever he would take little breaks to dance to the music before continuing on. But just as fast as usual, Jungwon's house came into view and the male skipped up the steps to the porch. The door opened and closed, that was the last time Jay saw him in the week.

— 𖤐 —

I can see the desperation in his eyes. Jungwon thought as he looked across the table. It was around a week and a half since he began to distance himself from Jay and it's honestly been one of the hardest things he's ever done. It was hard not to run up to the older, hug him, and apologize for ignoring him. Jungwon wanted badly to talk and be comfortable around him like he used to but he also didn't want to ruin the image he had put up to his teachers.