Euphoria

Life is a Nightmare

It was around witching hour when you woke up, three something in the morning. Saturday morning, before classes were supposed to start, to be specific. Which wasn't an ideal time to be waking with a gasp in a cold sweat. You didn't quite spring up but you definitely jolted, nearly hitting your head on the wall behind you. Heavy breathing ensued, you tried to slow it down so you wouldn't start hyperventilating but it was harder than it looked. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, you knew you could do it so why wasn't your body listening to your instructions?

Unknown to you, until a sound came from the other side of the room, Shinsou saw the whole thing unfold. That only made you panic more at first.

"Hey woah, breathe. Are you okay?" You looked over again to find the purple headed boy leaning over you while standing on the ladder of your bunk. Holding a water bottle out to you, his presence and words started to calm you down now. You took the water and after slowing your breathing under his guidance, drank some.

"Y-yeah, thank you." You took one deep breath, then another for good measure, before continuing. "I just had a nightmare abo-" You paused debating on whether spilling your whole life's backstory in an explanation of the bad dream was a good idea. But before you could say anything he spoke again.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, we can just watch a movie or something to get your mind off of it. Or...got a comfort anime? We can put that on." He was being so nice it made your heart feel warm. Which somehow made everything that seemed to be stored inside of you kind of burst, like you'd been defrosted. A few tears started to fall down your face.

What is happening, I'm not crying. I don't cry.

"I'm sorry this is so stupid, but I just haven't had someone be this kind to me in a while." You gave a small chuckle, trying to make it sound less depressing. "To be honest this might take a second, but I don't have any boundaries right now so you might as well know my fucking back story right? You know, since we live together." You chuckled lightly again just thinking about the whole situation.

"Okay, hold on one second though." He climbed down the ladder to head to his bed and grabbed his laptop. Coming back to your side of the room before climbing in next to you. "What do you want to put on in the background while you tell me your life story on this fine morning." His sarcasm actually brought a small smile to your face.

"You're gonna laugh."

"No I won't."

"Yuri on Ice, it is one of my favorites." He didn't judge, just looked it up and started from episode one.

"Take your time."

"Okay...where do I start. So, the bad dream, basically I was failing school and getting kicked out. Which made me have to go back to my parent's house. Which to be honest, no child should grow up in a house like that. When I got there my parents were drunk, like always, and my dad was spitting insults. Telling me I should have never gotten into the school in the first place, that I didn't deserve to live. My mother threatened to hurt me. For a dream, that isn't far off to what happened at home sometimes, if I got on their bad side. Except in the dream she actually did it, with a broken beer bottle, until I eventually woke up..." You stopped, saying everything out loud was even worse than just thinking it, it made it real. "Like I said I have very vivid dreams, and this one was just worse than others." He stared at you in awe, probably surprised that you weren't crying anymore. That's the thing with abuse, you get used to how people treat you over time. Neglect and emotional turmoil over multiple years can make you numb to it.

You just went back to watching the laptop after that.

"I'm sorry. I know that doesn't do anything, but I really am. I can't complain about anything I went through compared to you, but I did go through a fair amount of avoidance when I was growing up. Just because someone has a certain type of mental illness, people just assume between that and how I looked that I was a bad person or whatever. So I never really had real friends. Art was the way I could think and help express myself, which I am sure you understand, 'cause your dream hinted how important this school is to you. I'm sure you're stressed about it too, but I'm sure you will do great, you got in for a reason so you have to be doing something right. And you always have me here to watch..." He turned to the laptop to see what was going on in the show, where a naked Viktor stood in front of Yuri asking to be his coach. "A european man strip naked? Is that seriously what this show is about?" He let off a low laugh, finally seeing the animation in front of you properly.

"Oh hush, it's really good!! Yes it is a bunch of fruity men fighting against each other the only way they know how, which is figure skating. But, it is a beautiful story!" Your voice was muffled, the effects from your own melt down. "And thank you for helping me. I know I can be kind of depressing, which is why I try not to talk about myself too much, 'cause this is a new start for me. I am not relying on my parents anymore and I'm going to school for what I love to do. What else could I ask for." You gave him a small smile, which he returned.

He has a nice smirk, it fits him. Wish I could see it more.

"Okay, well I'm glad you told me, now I know more about you. We're like...friends. I know what to avoid saying to you and how to comfort you, I guess. I am still surprised it is queer ice skaters, but I am not gonna judge it." He looked at you and then back at the screen.

"Well you're the only 'like' friend I have, so that is progress to me. And my comfort anime's also include some normal shows too, like hunter x hunter and Horimiya. So if that tells you anything about me, I guess you can analyze it all you want. Huh, I feel a lot better now, actually, thanks for that...Is it okay if you could just stay for a while. I am probably going to fall asleep watching this, but I don't want to be alone anymore." Your voice quivered on that last sentence, making it a little softer than the ones before. It's because you meant it, you hadn't even meant for it to slip out, but you'd wanted to for a long time.

"Yeah, that works. I don't mind it." Just then he put his arm behind your neck, really embedding in you just how close you guys were in the first place. The topic of the past distracted you from how small your bed was and how you were basically cuddling the whole time. Somehow, it wasn't awkward or weird, it felt comfortable, normal even.

Your eyes were much heavier than they were before, thoughts were looser and scattering tiredly. Listening to the music from the performances on the laptop, you soon fell into a deep sleep without knowing it. Shinsou unbeknownst to you, followed in your footsteps afterwards. His chin grazing your forehead and your cheek laid on his chest.