Until The End of Time | Wonho [√]

30: KEYFRAME

KEYFRAME:  A MOMENT THAT SEEMED INNOCUOUS AT THE TIME BUT ENDED UP MARKING A DIVERSION INTO A STRANGE NEW ERA OF YOUR LIFE

"Yerum died," Wonho told me as we sat outside. It had stopped raining. For some reason, Wonho didn't want to go inside, even after being drenched from head to toe.

He felt like he was somewhere away from here and I could understand why. My heart broke into pieces and I couldn't say anything in reply as he talked.

"That day..., we were supposed to meet that day. In the morning I woke up to find him laying still on the floor. I thought he was sleeping. But he was dead. I buried Yerum at the mountain behind our place."

His voice was rough and didn't contain any emotion, I searched for his face and he looked so tired but at the same time, nonchalant.

"I'm sorry Wonho... I didn't know. I am so sorry I—" My throat enclosed on its own remembering how harshly I had talked to him that day, tears started to well up in my eyes.

He shook his head a little to the sides. "I should've told you over the phone. But I just— I just felt so numbed. To me that is the worst feeling of all. To feel numb. I used to be a crybaby, I would cry at the smallest things. And now it's like— it's like I can't even cry anymore. My eyes are dry but there's so much pain."

I tried to reach out to him, my fingers trembling a little as I tried to put a hand on his back but he gave a slight flinch. I didn't know if it was for the cold outside or because of me. I pulled my hand back.

"Everyone keeps leaving me. My dad. My brother. My mom is drunk all day. That's why we remain in separate apartments even though we are family. I can't adapt with her, nor can I change her. I understand her pain well. I wish I died instead of my younger brother too."

"Wonho, please don't say that!" I wanted to scream but my voice was meek, though it had a gravity in it. He remained silent for a minute or two.

"That night when I came here late I couldn't bear it at home anymore. My mother threw a drunk tantrum and went out. She came back at dawn and couldn't go in because she had lost the key to her place so she called me. And then I left your apartment."

Wonho looked like a robot talking in his mechanical voice, it was as if the key to his music box was turned and he was just spilling it out like the way he should. His hairtips were no longer turquoise like when we had dyed it in his apartment, but as pale as his skin and slightly shaking lips.

I wanted to embrace him, hug him tighter than ever but something stopped me. He looked so fragile, as if was made of thin glass and would crumble beneath my touch.

"All my life, I can never be certain of anything. Disasters just keep being thrown at me. Whenever I think it's okay from here on, it's actually not. And I can't do this anymore. Everyday I try hard to go by but I can't."