Denying Draco

58 - The L Word

Poppy sat by Draco's bed for the fourth time that day. It had been two days since Harry had injured him in the bathrooms and luckily Professor. Snape had healed his severe injuries with the counter-spell but Draco had been quickly taken to the hospital wing right away.

After discovering that Harry had left Hogwarts, Poppy was enraged that he had done such a thing and fled, something she had not expected of him. It took her the rest of that day to calm down but when she finally did, she told herself that Harry had not meant to harm Draco as he did. He'd only heard about the spell during conversation about the duel between Poppy and Draco and when he had questioned her about it, Poppy had only told Harry that it injured the opponent and not the extremity of the injuries.

It was a dangerous spell and she was worried about it getting out and being used by other students. She still had no idea how Draco knew about the spell and she was beginning to wonder how Professor. Snape also knew the counter-spell for it when he'd saved Draco. She had stated the counter-spell in Defence Against The Dark Arts that day in her duel against Draco, so this was the only reason she could think of to explain how Snape knew about it.

Poppy knew Harry had had to leave to seek out the next Horcrux right away and when he did return, she intended to ensure that he knew she didn't hate him.

After going to Snape's office that evening after the bathroom duel and getting no response, to harassing him again the next morning in the corridor, he had finally informed her that Draco was in the hospital wing and she had hurried right there. She visited him most of the day inbetween classes but he had slept the whole time. Once again the day after, she visited him again throughout the day and she sat by his bed in the late afternoon, holding his hand and watching him as he slept peacefully. No one would ever know the deep and dark troubles he had just by looking at him laying in the bed. He just looked like a normal boy but by now Poppy had realised he certainly was anything but.

'Back again?' Madam Pomfrey glided swiftly up the walkway and stopped by Draco's bed.

'Professor. Snape did manage to heal all of the wounds, didn't he?' Poppy asked her.

'Yes but he was brought here just to get checked out and I want to keep an eye on him for a while,' Madam Pomfrey told her. 'He certainly needs the rest.'

'Can't we change him?' Poppy signalled down at the scruffy, dirty uniform he was still wearing from that day. His white shirt was torn in places and stained with blood. 'He needs to get out of that shirt.'

'I did offer but he refused to take it off,' Madam Pomfrey replied.

'He was awake?' Poppy questioned.

'Oh, he's been awake many times,' she replied. 'I told him I would bring him clean clothes but he refused to change. He allowed me to clean his face but that's it. Wasn't so keen on that so hasn't let me do it since. Honestly, he's probably going to be out of here by tomorrow. He's awake most of the time...just always seem to take his naps when you're arriving.'

Poppy's smile faded and she glanced down at Draco curiously.

Madam Pomfrey saw her reaction and looked down at him too before she turned and walked away.

'Are you pretending to be asleep so you don't have to speak to me?' Poppy asked him, but he didn't move a muscle or make a sound. 'I know you can hear me.'

She waited patiently, watching his face closely but he remained still.

'I have not stopped worrying about you,' she told him. 'I thought you were going to die and it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I have visited you here every chance I've gotten to see how you are. The least you could do is open your eyes and talk to me.'

Still nothing. She sighed softly and pulled her hand from his but she felt the grip of his fingers around it and she got to her feet and looked down at him. 'Draco?'

His eyelids twitched but they didn't open. He remained still in his sleeping position and Poppy gave up trying. She squeezed his hand back and brushed the hair from his forehead with the other, stroking his hair lightly several times before she straightened up. 'I have to go now. I'll come and see you in the morning.'

She gave him another second or two to respond to her but when he didn't she pulled her hand from his and walked away, making her way to her final class of the day.

When classes ended, she returned to her dorm where she and Ginny both laid out on Ginny's bed with a load of snacks between them.

'How is he?' Ginny asked, shoving a Jelly Slug into her mouth.

'He's fine,' Poppy told her. 'He was pretending to be asleep. He doesn't want to talk to me.'

'He's probably ashamed,' Ginny replied. Poppy had brought Ginny up to speed about Katie Bell and the duel with Harry in the bathroom. She hoped it wouldn't be awkward because of Ginny's feelings for Harry but her best friend was totally understanding.

'You remember how it felt when you thought Draco was going to die?' Ginny asked, and Poppy nodded. 'I know exactly how you feel. The amount of times I've believed Harry was going to turn up dead. It's dreadful.'

'I've never felt anything like it,' Poppy murmured, as she thought back and relived the terrible moment. 'My throat still hurts from screaming. I felt helpless. I was trying to heal him and he was just...he was giving up. He told me to let him go.'

'Shit...' Ginny whispered, sympathetically.

'I had only just found out something completely terrible that he had done,' Poppy told her. 'I thought I hated him after he confessed it to me but...when I thought he was going to die I quickly realised what he meant to me.'

'Do you love him?' Ginny asked.

Poppy's eyes widened instantly. 'Love? I'm not sure I can even answer that. How could I love him? Him and I have had nothing but hostility between us.'

'You've been having sex with him,' Ginny reminded her. 'He was your first, you can't stay away, when you're around him you just cave. When you thought he was going to die, it broke you. When you found out what he'd done to Katie...you still cared for him...'

'I believe him when he says he didn't mean to hurt her,' Poppy told her. 'You weren't there. He was completely torn up about it. I saw the remorse in his eyes; he is not an evil person.'

'I believe you, Poppy,' Ginny told her. 'I agree. It seems it was a complete accident but what I want to know is...if it wasn't meant for Katie, who was it meant for?'

'I understand what this is,' Poppy said, nodding quickly. 'I know he acquired that necklace to have it delivered to my uncle. It was meant to be delivered to him. Draco wouldn't tell me anything. He said he is keeping me safe by not telling me anything. I believe someone is forcing him. I don't see any other reason Draco would want to hurt my uncle. I'm choosing to believe that whatever he has going on...he's doing it for a reason. I'm choosing to believe that deep down, he is good. Whoever or whatever he did that for, he had to have had his reasons.'

'You're aware it's risky for you to think such a way without knowing?' Ginny asked.

Poppy nodded. 'I know. I could end up completely wrong and hate myself for it. It could all end in disaster and I would never forgive myself or him. I can't think like that. I can only go off how I feel.'

'But your feelings aren't reliable because you love him,' Ginny told her, sternly.

'I don't love him,' Poppy whispered, shaking her head.

'You love him, Poppy,' Ginny repeated, giving her a firm look. 'Because you love him, you'll be blind to the things you don't want to believe.'

Do I love him? What does love even feel like? Could I really love someone who is always so cruel and horrific to me? Is that really how I value myself? He certainly doesn't love me...

'I just have to trust my gut on this one,' Poppy sighed.

'And if you're wrong?' Ginny asked. 'If he is really involved in something terrible and Harry is right about everything...then what?'

'Then...' She thought about it for a few seconds and felt a dull ache inside of her. 'Then it will totally break my heart and I'll deserve it.'