In Your Dreams (A DahMo Fanfic)

16: In too deep

"How did all of that go wrong?" I mutter, kneeling at the ground, which was once made of tofu. Dahyun raises me up and holds me by the shoulders.

"The first will always hurt. You know how many times I had to do what you did," she says as I sob into her shoulders. "You did more than I could."

Dahyun's right—she created many more worlds before the Joseon world.

"Right. Before you mastered it, you had to master—"

"—the third level," Dahyun cuts. In hindsight, the whole dynamic is weird. Master the third to master the second. It makes sense, but it doesn't? Oh well.

"How'd you get there, by the way?"

She shrugs. "Same way you got to the second—freeing your mind. Just think of it in terms of how they sleep within the dream in Inception."

"When you say it like that, it sounds so easy," I say, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, but the tricky part is not waking up in someone else's dream," she adds, holding a finger to my face. Right. She did mention that's how she ended up getting into mine years ago. The third level, Dahyun mentioned, is like a brain that consists of countless neural networks—but instead of traveling signals to your body, you connect with someone else's dreams. Something like that.

"Okay, so how do I prevent what you experienced?"

Dahyun swings her head up and clicks her tongue. "Weren't you listening?! I just said—"

"—free my mind. Got it." Was being so snarky necessary? "Can't you guide me going there?"

She shakes her head. "Only you can access it, and bring others with you."

Well, that's just great. "Can I lie down on your lap? I want to try it now."

She immediately sits, patting her thighs before I place my head. "Wish me luck," I mutter as I close my eyes.

When someone tells you to free your mind, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the concept. Normally, you think of an endless void where nothing exists. But doesn't that make you more aware of your thoughts? Similar to looking at an empty box, you start to think of what you could fit in there. Most of the time, you don't actually know that you're already asleep.

Do you count sheep? Even as a child, that never helped—not one bit.

Normally, what helps is just staring at something, like a small light source in the dark. I find that, if you just focus on it, your eyes get tired as your mind processes its luminescence.

So, I just stare at Dahyun's knees. How they serve as a complete contrast to the dreary backdrop of the once-vivid world I created.

She's so pale, that even some of the veins faintly show. Like a stream running on snow-covered earth.

Light blue, like the sky.

Blu—

***

"Wake up, yeobo," Dahyun softly says.

I'm immediately greeted by a blinding yellow orb. The instinct to shield my eyes kicks in, but...my arms aren't present. Shit. Shit. Shit—I did it!

Dahyun chuckles. "I know your tits are big, but not that big." I immediately look behind and see a gargantuan version of myself. Okay, full disclosure, seeing yourself as a huge statue is a really weird experience.

Without a moment's hesitation, I zoom towards the ear canal. However, an unseen force is preventing me from doing so. Each time I charge, I bounce back a few feet away. "Yeobo, what's this?! Why can't I get in?"

" I forgot to tell you: you have to master the third level before seeing your subconscious. Think of it as a reward."

Oh, fuck me. "And how does one do that?"

"Look back to the time I took you to mine. What difference do you recall?"

Differences? Were there any? "Yeobo, you gotta help me out here. All I remember was that was where I first saw your breasts—oh."

"Ugh, I love you, but you're still a pervert," Dahyun groans.

Okay, so all I have to do is manifest myself. How hard can that be? I close my eyes again, visualizing my corporeal form—every speck of my body that I'm aware of, aaaannnnndddd...nothing. "Dahyunie..." I sweetly plead.

" Must I really tell you everything?!" Even if we're only orbs, I could feel rolling her eyes at me right now. "This level requires a mastery of self. How well do you know yourself? And, just so you stop asking, imagine closing and opening your hands. If you can feel or see them, then that's it."

How Dahyun came to these techniques is a little weird, but she's the expert, so I just do as she says.

Hirai Momo...how well do you know yourself? How well do I know myself?

Let's see: I was born and raised in Kyotanabe, Kyoto, Japan. We're a family of four—my parents and my sister.

Close. Open.

I hated academics. I preferred sports over books.

Close. Open.

Dancing is a secret passion of mine, only the closest to me know that I like moving my body along to the music.

Close. Open.

However, I ended up working in recruiting because I have a natural aptitude for reading people, especially their body language.

Close. Open.

I only have two friends—Sana and Mina.

Close. Open.

While I have the both of them, they have many more others. I'm afraid that, should I go...

Close. Open.

...they'll just have someone else fill in the spot.

Close. Open. Close. Open.

I know a lot of people are intimated by me. How about Sana and Mina? Do they actually like me, or are they just tolerating me? Or worse, pitying me?

Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open.

I wish I wasn't so estranged with my family. I'd always make up excuses to ditch gatherings and reunions. Why?

Close. Open.

Will I have anyone left at the end, when I grow old and wither?

Close. Open. Close. Open.

I have Dahyun. But, for how long? Will she tire of me, too?

Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open.

God, why am I so scared? It's pathetic. I'm pathetic.

Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open.

Have I really been living my life?

Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open.

Did I just dream my life away?

"Momo-ring, stop!" Dahyun's call snaps me out of my trance.

"Why are you crying?" Dahyun asks.

"What? Crying? You can't even see me right now—" I stop, seeing my fingernails, burying themselves into my palms.