In Your Dreams (A DahMo Fanfic)

25: By your side

Upon opening my eyes, I quickly look over to my left, only to find Dahyun neatly tucked in her hoodie. A faint smile's painted on her face, as the fingers on her right hand wrap around her left ring finger—just like she did before I tried to put on the ring.

I snuggle closer. "Yeobo...why'd you leave? I was just about to put the ring on your finger. Come on, let's go back: the guests are waiting with excitement." I plant my hand on her chest and try to return to my dream. Instead of counting sheep, I always go along with Dahyun's breathing, as it is a better way to go back to sleep.

But something's wrong. I wait for the rise and fall of her chest, but it never comes. "Yeobo?" My own breathing overcompensates the lack of her own as I claw the fabric of her hoodie. "Dahyunie? Wake up..."

Dr. Soon's words fade in like an unwanted track. "It's not just memories they forget. Bodily functions go out the window, too. If it's not an accident, she could actually forget how to breathe." That last phrase rings in my head, like unwelcome church bells.

"Yeobo, I was just joking. We don't have to go back to the dream. Please, just wake up..." My hand shakes, fearing to hold hers. The warmth I always felt when our fingers intertwined is now gone, as the back of her hand feels like she put them in front of the air conditioner for too long.

The smile on her face is still there. I want to think that this is another one of her sick pranks, but I know she wouldn't be capable of such machinations anymore. "Okay...you got me. Now you can stop making fun of me," I whisper, as my chuckles slowly turn into sobs.

My Dahyun forgot how to breathe.

As I try to lift and hold her body against mine, her head rolls to the side. "No, no, no..." I keep muttering, as tears drop on her lifeless face.

My Dahyun is gone.

By burying my face in her shoulder, I am able to muffle my wails into something I couldn't even hear, for fear of startling Mrs. Kim awake, only to find her only child is now dead.

She didn't even get to take my name. They wouldn't even let me marry her. Even if it's only a dream...does the universe hate us that much? I rock our bodies back and forth. "I'm sorry yeobo, I can't even grant your one wish," I whisper before crying until my body couldn't take bottling it anymore.

The thing they don't tell you when you're faced with death is that it's the happy memories that will kill you. As I cling onto Dahyun's corpse, the times that she suffered don't even cross my mind. Like an unprecedented disaster, memories of our first meeting, the pagoda, the meadow, our dates, everything—all up to the wedding—come in like a huge middle finger to me. "Fuck you, this is what you lost" I imagine the universe saying.

As a habit, even in her death, I take a whiff off of Dahyun's hair. The sweet scent is still there, sending me to more tears as I feel her arm, the one that tightly held on to her ring finger, drop on my lap.

***

"Looks like someone didn't sleep at all," Mrs. Kim remarks at my puffy eyelids as she's setting the plates. "Hopefully, Dahyunie had a good time."

I freeze as I step down the stairs, as Mrs. Kim mentioned her daughter's name. How do I tell her what just happened? "Imo-ssi..."

She clicks her tongue. "I told you, it's umma now," she chastises, only to see me shaking my head as I have another breakdown.

"Dahyunie...she...she..." I try to string my words together, as she dashes past me. As the door swings open, Mrs. Kim lets out a sharp cry as I bury my face in my hands.

My Dahyunie is dead. And I wasn't able to make her happy one last time.