In Your Dreams (A DahMo Fanfic)

20: Say it ain't so

Neither of us want to move in the bed, like it was something out of a comedy, wherein they just had very disappointing or awkward sex. Except this one isn't funny—no one's laughing.

"So, you've been doing this ever since you were young," I note. Dahyun just hums, filling in the silence. "And you've been putting yourself at risk since then..."

"Are you going to keep narrating the obvious?" Dahyun's voice doesn't connote any emotion—it's just cold, like the sheets we're on top of.

"...why? Why would you do something so reckless?!"

She shrugs then turns her back at me. "As if this world's any better to live in. I'm sure you understand that."

Of course I do. Most of reality is huge pile of shit, but putting myself in danger? "Still...you openly did that knowing that it's dange—"

"If I didn't, we probably wouldn't meet each other."

Hearing her words break the barrier as I spoon her. Even without our hands meeting, I could feel the tremors accompanied with her sobbing.

"Can't we at least do something about this?" I ask, sniffling. The thing about crying sideways is it really puts a huge pressure on your chest, making this development feel more shitty than it is.

"What's the point? I chose this."

Hey, I chose dreaming than living too, but that was before you came along. I wish I could tell her this, that it's unfair that we've only just begun but she's already slipping away from me.

***

Who would have thought that something so mundane as walking would now be so taxing? I've been trailing Dahyun to and from work, just so she doesn't wander off or, worse, get into an accident.

"If you're gonna stalk me, don't make it so obvious," she exclaims, not looking behind at me.

Nice job, Momo. I can't believe I fantasized about being a super sleuth when I was young. "Please, yeobo...let's get you checked. There has to be something they could still do to—"

"—Fix me? Why? Because I'm broken?" she asks, finally turning around to face me.

"You know that's not what I meant," I justify, rushing to hold her trembling hands.

"Momo-ssi, please. Just leave me. Whatever this is, I don't want to burden you with it," she says, pulling away from my grasp and continues walking away.

"I love you, you idiot! Can't you see that?!" My words stop her, just enough for me to cling onto her.

Dahyun heaves before breaking down in my embrace. "Please, just forget me...because I'll forget about you, whether we like it or not!"

"No! Please, just listen to me...we'll visit that doctor, or other doctors, and they'll cure you, okay?!" I've never held onto something more than I am holding her right now.

"Yeobo," she whispers. "I-I'm tired..."

"Come on, let's get you home," I say after wiping my snot and tears on my jacket's sleeve.

"I...I can't...I can't get up."

***

Dr. Soon points over to the chairs in front of his desk. A plaque on his desk reads Soon Hwang-Min, M.D. Neurology and Oneirology. He taps his pen on his scraggly hair, letting out a sigh as he sits.

"Never thought I'd see you again, Ms. Kim. How long has it been? A decade?"

"Almost twelve years." Dahyun puts her hands in between her thighs, to conceal the tremors, but the doctor quickly notices it. Aside from that, the wheelchair she's in a huge indicator that things have been worse since they last met.