A house is only as fun as your house mate

Chapter 10 and 1/3: Keith

I couldn't stay in another hotel since I hadn't the money to be able to stay in one and buy myself the apartment at the same time. Worried on where I could actually go, I decided to call Bellamy. He and Clavis had not yet moved in together so it made my life easy and I could chill with him and not have a great deal to do with Lance. Bellamy would get it, I'd hope, since he has seen mine and Lance's relationship flourish pretty much from the beginning. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, and worse case scenario, I will just camp out in my car. My only fear is that Bellamy is going to make me go back. He knows that I can't be without Lance and that I love him, he has tried to get us together many times whenever Lance had come to pick me up after work or see me during one of my shifts. He was practically a copy of Penelope at this point as she was no better herself. I rang Bellamy, waiting for the dial to pitter out and show that he had picked up. "come on, come on." I begged impatiently. I tapped my foot against the tarmac, phone still against my ear.

"hello?" he said.

"oh my god, Bellamy." I sighed in exasperation.

"keith?! Is everything okay? You never call me. Did something happen between you and Lance, is that what it was?" he sighed himself and lowered his voice to a softer tone after practically yawping at me to begin with.

"You could say that yes." I murmured.

"come over. Now." He demanded. Not able to say no, I agreed and got my car to head over to my friend's. The entire time I was putting things in my boot, Lance saw me and opened the door to watch me walk out his life. "keith." I heard him say one final time. "i love you." He had his arms folded and head bowed. It was only just audible to my ears.

About to get in my car, I had to say one last thing. "i love you too." Tears began streaming down Lance's face yet again as mine did the same. His tanned hand raised to rub his cheeks but he couldn't seem to rid himself of them. There was a silent and mutual agreement just then. He knew and I could see it on his face. He knew I loved him. His wide eyes and realisation gave that one away. And to me, that was the only thing that mattered, that he knew. I drove off down the road and left the man that I had loved for so long on the doorstep of his house in floods of tears. And I could do nothing now to go back. It was as I had always thought, no matter how much we wanted to be together, it was never going to happen. If only we just weren't too stupid to realise that we would never be apart.

I made my way to Bellamy's and saw another car parked outside. A sleek black Volvo, that could have easily been mistaken for another car. There was only one other person I knew who had a car like that. Clavis Irvine. I parked snuggly behind him and opened the heavy car door to get out. Deciding to leave my luggage, I tapped twice on the wooden door. There was a scuffle of shoes in the background and then a click, later allowing the door to swing open. Bellamy stepped out before taking a double take on his surroundings and pulling me into the house. He set me down on a sofa with Clavis sat opposite me. As much as I actually liked that man, he reminded me too much of Lance. He bore a scowl on his pale face and his silver hair, fell neatly in front of his eye. It was funny, you would look at Bellamy, and then you would look at Clavis. One warm, one cold, complete polar opposites. If only I could have realised that earlier on. Clavis' scowl softened once Bellamy had sat down, then he turned back to me, scowl increasing by double. "what did you do to Lance?" he growled protectively. It was bound to happen so I didn't take it personally. At the end of the day, what happened to Lance and I was my fault.

"i told him I couldn't be with him." I sighed. Clavis stood.

"You did WHAT?!" he demanded, stood right in front of me, making me shrink back into the sofa. Bellamy pulled Clavis down gently on top of him and cradled him on his lap, Clavis' head resting on his shoulder. "I told him I didn't like him and that I never did." Clavis raised a palm to his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His eyes had gone glassy too and he began to take shaky breaths. "how could you do that to him?" he questioned.

"What do you mean?" I almost begged. I looked to Bellamy for reassurance but I got nothing. "He loved you." Both my friends said in unison making me feel so much worse.

"i know." I dropped my head to stare at my lap.

"then why would you tear him apart like that? I know you liked him too." The silver haired man continued. I felt tears brim my tear ducts. "he doesn't deserve me. I'm a failure, I am selfish, I can't love, I can't care for someone, I can't do anything that he could possibly need from someone. I can't do it all." I let it go. Bellamy got up from under Clavis and sat by my side, rubbing my back tenderly. "you mean so much more to him than you realise, impurities and all." Bellamy soothed.

"shut it Bellamy, you don't know. I can't go back to him now. I ended it all for good." The hand proceeded to rub. "its my fault." I snapped at them. Snapping always seemed to be the way I protected and defended myself in these situations. "what else did you do?" Clavis urged.

"I shook him off and told him I had never been happy in his company. I couldn't be more happier with him. I told him I wanted to leave as soon as I got there. I want to stay for eternity. I told him that I could never love him. I do, I love him so god damn much it hurts." I was weeping fully.

"How do you know that you love him if you could say all of that so easily to him?!" Clavis spat back.

"Because I no longer feel what he means to me in my head. I feel it in my chest." I mumbled. "every waking moment that I can't spend with him tears me apart from the inside outwards. I want to see his smiling face everyday and when I don't, I have to put it back on. It wasn't easy Clavis, I don't know how I managed to push him away." My breath was ragged and uneven. My lungs forcing out every breath of air that I took in at rapid intervals. "I can't go back."

"Well you are welcome to stay here." Bellamy calmed.

"No he's not." Clavis shot angrily at his boyfriend.

"Clavi-"

"No I won't hear it. Until he fixes things with Lance, he is not allowed to set foot in this house." He folded his arms tight across his chest and sat back in the chair.

"clavis Irvine, this is my house I will have you know and Keith needs us, regardless of what he has done to Lance. Please take my word on this. Trust me." Clavis not being able to say no to the coffee eyes that were begging him, he sighed and stood up. Silently agreeing to Bellamy's terms. "im going to see Lance. I'll be back soon okay?" He bent down to kiss his cheek and grabbed his coat. Once at the door he turned back around. "one more thing. Keith, if you make the wrong decision, I will personally deal with your death. You have one month to decide." He walked out.

I turned to Bellamy for help and he gave me a pitiful glance. "keith I'm sorry, he doesn't normally get like that." I sighed and leant on my boss' shoulder. It felt sturdy like shiro's but slightly bonier like Lance's.

"what am I going to do? I love him Bellamy, I really do." Bellamy stroked my head.

"i know Keith, I know you do, it isn't hard to see but you are just going to have to figure this out yourself. As much as I would love to, I can't make the decision for you."

"I have a month." I scowled.

"Well that's a month to make up your mind about what you really want." He assured. I raised my head in slight delight. I hugged him tight. "thank you." I cried.

"No problem Keith."