A house is only as fun as your house mate

Chapter 11 and 1/3: Lance

Once Keith had left again, the house felt empty. I was only just getting to the point of being able to stand the thought of him without breaking down, but I stupidly had to let him back in and boy did I regret it.

I sat at the table, yet again weeping. I had found one of Keith's old sweaters and held it close to me. It was special and still smelt like him. I buried my face in it and allowed the soft, dark material to soak up the liquid leaking from my eyes. This last week had been the worst I had ever experienced since Allura had died, and even then, I coped better than I was right now. Keith had broken me down to the point of practically becoming compost. I was tearing away at the seams and decomposing with every minute that we spent apart.

If I could call him back here, I would have, but I was scared. I didn't want to see what I would do if I let him back in again. I was an idiot at this point. I was well aware that I was practically living each and every day over and over, like each one was the same day. Keith was what made it different and exciting. Who knew what argument we were going to have that day or what mood he would wake up in. I dreaded the days that he would wake up argumentative or moody, but now, looking back, it felt like I would never be able to get those again.

People say you only appreciate what you have once it's gone.
Keith was gone and I wasn't going to get him back. And only now did I realise just how essential he was to my well being.

I decided to stop there that night and call it a day. I skipped dinner, not feeling hungry and tugged my shirt off, soon pulling on the black top that was left by Keith. I basked in the scent of it and the thought of having his arms wrapped around me like earlier. I crawled into bed and glanced up at the ceiling, imagining what it would have been like if I could see the stars through the ceiling, almost like a glass roof. I wondered if Keith and I could ever have done that if circumstances were different. Wallowing in my own sadness and self pity, I fell asleep, completely passed out in the middle of the bed, halfway between myself and Keith, exactly where I belonged.

                                  *

The next morning, I called in sick to work. I had let Clavis know in advance that I wasn't planning on coming in and he was not surprised by the way I had been dealing with the breakup. If I could even call it a breakup. He explained that he had a hunch someone else may have been staying off with a certain boyfriend of his and I instantly knew what he was trying to get at. Clavis had been desperate to get me to not give up on Keith. He knew exactly how competitive I got and so he continuously worded it like 'if you were to give up on Keith, that would be admitting defeat to him'. Sadly, this time, it wasn't going to work. But perhaps, just maybe, I might drop around and see if he actually is coping as well as he could be. He looked happy before but maybe he actually wasn't. I mean, if last night wasn't a dream and Keith really did turn up and kiss the hell out of me, maybe he did miss me.

"Shut up Lance! What are you thinking?" I scolded myself while aggressively face palming and hitting my nose to the point I accidentally caused it to bleed. I rushed to the toilets and plugged my nose with wads of tissue to catch the blood flow. I began to breathe through my mouth so that I didn't breath in bloody tissue.   "Damn, what is my life?" I sighed, but my voice came out all nasally due to the lack of oxygen in my lungs and my very obviously plugged nose.
Heading downstairs to cook something for breakfast, I checked the cupboards for anything I could find. I opened the first to see that the shelves had already fallen into disrepair. I smiled and chuckled softly to myself. 'keith's going to kill me' I thought and continued laughing quietly.

I pulled out a box of cereal and poured it into a bowl. My mind was elsewhere however and so instead of each individual piece of cereal making a small clatter as it hit the base of the ceramic bowl, it hit my bare foot and kept flowing. Not really caring at this point, I stopped tipping the box and found a dust pan and brush to sweep up the breakfast I had spilt. Every now and again stepping in a piece and crushing it between my toes.

I gave up on breakfast too and decided to get a shower, that was my next best option, but also to try and clean off the lucky charm marshmallow stuck in every gap between my toes. What could go wrong in a shower?

Everything can go wrong in a shower apparently. I dropped the shampoo bottle so that it hit my foot and ended up splitting and spilling down the drain as the water carried the sweet smelling blueberry soap down. My foot bruised pretty much on impact. I then got water in my eyes which had not happened since I was about five. Lastly, as I went to switch the dial on the shower and turn it off, I bent my fingernail backwards and managed to rip half of the entire thing off. I couldn't even say anything to the situation at this point. I had completely lost all hope in the predicaments.

Not bothering about the half a nail I still had remaining on my finger, I got dressed and decided that perhaps it was best I head out for the day. You know, to clear my mind off of almost everything that seemed to be plaguing me. I purposefully forgot my car so that I had to actually spend a lot of time outside, enjoying the fresh air.

Making my way towards the park, I found a clearing and sat at the base of a tree, glancing up at the branches and watching a pair of pigeons cuddling in the cold weather. They had nestled their necks into each other and one had a wing sat atop their mate. It was a beautiful sight to behold and a particularly special one at that. Pigeons mated for life and spent every waking moment that they could with each other. And when one died, they grieved and sometimes died of the loneliness. I heard somewhere that anything can die of loneliness if it was deep rooted enough. It was a sad way to go I would give someone that.

I continued staring up at the tree and didn't notice when someone sat behind the part of the trunk that I was sat leant against. It was not a thick tree, not much older than a sapling I would have thought so I could feel the arm of the other person grazing my elbow as they leant further and further back. "They can die of loneliness you know." A voice said. A voice that was, oh too familiar to my ears.

"I had heard about that yes." I responded.

"Did you know that humans can die of loneliness?" The voice continued to ask. I spun around and watched as Keith leant against the rough bark, staring up at the tree. He didn't look at me, just watched the pair of lover birds in complete awe of what they could feel.

"I had heard about that too."I told him. I watched as a faint smile played out on his face.

"Did you know the Galra get lonely?"

"I was not aware." I replied. He chuckled.

" 'tis true, they get just as lonely as us." He stated.

"And how would you know?" I wondered. Not an ounce of bitterness anywhere to be seen in my voice.

"Well it just so happens that I appear to be half of one." It was my turn to chuckle this time at how obviously observant he was.

"And what's your point?" I asked.

"My point is, that I want you Lance McClain." He turned around now. The tree still stood between us, yet we still managed to lock eyes and refused to divert our gazes from one another. "I want you before I die of loneliness." He blushed and gave a weak and cheesy smile. One that I certainly used to give him more often than not.

"Keith, you know what I've said." I sighed despondently.

"Who cares about the rules?!" Keith half yelled. "Who cares what we think we should or shouldn't do? If I make you happy and you make me happy, then why should it matter?"

"But you said-" Keith approached closer this time towards me, cutting me off.

"Who cares about what I said then. And I also think we both know that I was lying about the whole ordeal." He whispered. I smiled at him and his attempt at a slightly seductive tone.

"So where do we go from here?" I asked, unsure of whether I should be dreading what was to come. Keith stood up and pulled me with him, holding my cold hands in his warm ones and rubbing them gently, still never breaking eye contact.

"Lance McClain, will you do the honour of becoming my idiotic, moronic, crazy dumb yet completely adorable boyfriend?" He asked hope in his eyes. I smiled mischievously at him. A smirk playing on my face and a playful glint in my eyes.

"No."
Keith's face fell.