A house is only as fun as your house mate

Chapter 3: Lance

I nearly just kissed Keith Kogane. I swear, what the hell is wrong with me? There was something about the way he was looking at me so expectantly and the way in which he looked so hurt and weak. I couldn’t pass on the opportunity this time. But I did. Keith has always been someone that could put a rope around my heart easily but I could never obey to the command that the rope would give. I could never like Keith if my life depended on it. But he leant in to kiss me too. Damn why couldn’t I make up my mind. I placed the plaster across the bridge of his nose to stop the bleeding yet again and to also keep it clean from the airborne germs. I looked at his sad face one more time before excusing myself to my room. I couldn’t have gotten up there quicker if I had tried. I shut the door behind me and sat in my bed. My knees tucked up and into my chest, and my arms wrapped around them. I buried my face within my legs so that I could avoid the guilty feeling I had creeping into my chest. Keith. Just the image of his broken face fluttered across my brain in sudden bursts. What had I done? The thing is, it wasn’t just an impulse that I had for nearly kissing him, I had the desire to. It was something that I hadn’t even felt for Allura. She was special to me and I wouldn’t have complained if we had kissed but this was different. I actively wanted to kiss him and eradicate his pain. Not just the pain from his nose but the emotional pain that I knew he still carried. No doubt he was mad at his parents. Especially after finding his mum again and figuring out she was only a half decent being. And then Shiro just up and left once he got a husband. All of Keith’s family, gone. And no doubt he resented them for it. I was no better myself. I had worked so hard to actually be one that he could consider, at the very least, a friend. And I threw all of that hard work back into his face. What an idiot I would have to be to do something like that. And I could see that I was special to him. He wouldn’t admit it of course, it was Keith, but he never looked at anyone else the way he looked at Shiro and I. Maybe he just viewed me as a brother like he had Shiro but I don’t think so. After all, he never would have been so willing to kiss me today if I was a brotherly figure. And his staring also did not go unnoticed. In fact, it was quite obvious. As much as I knew it was true, I did not want Keith to like me. I was undeserving of his love. Allura was enough and even then she was nothing compared to Keith. Allura was brave, she was sacrificial, she was beautiful, she was strong, she was compassionate, but so was Keith. In his weird way, he was loving, he was strong, he would have gladly died for us any day, he was brave, he was Keith. And maybe I did think that he was one of the most amazing beings alive. And maybe the reason I didn’t have the compulsion to kiss Allura was because subconsciously, I had my eyes set on the red paladin. “damn.” I sighed. I let my legs drop to the floor and my arms to my sides. I raised a hand to massage my temples hoping to rid myself from the stress I had just caused myself. I wanted to kiss Keith. I wanted to kiss him because he was special to me, because I think, I liked him.
I heard a knock at the door then. I cleared my throat to make it sound like I was okay though inside I was trembling. I gripped my thighs in the hopes to stop my hands from shaking and took deep breaths to stop them from coming out raspy. “Come in.” I called. Keith pushed the door open carefully and peered around the doorway. “is this an okay time?” he questioned. I nodded calmly and ushered for him to come and sit next to me. He didn’t hesitate to walk in. He shut the door after him and sat as far away from me as he could on the bed and didn’t look me in the eye. “you can come closer.” I told him, hoping for him to shuffle over. I pat the spot next to me softly, expecting him to sit there but he didn’t. He moved about an inch closer and stopped there. I hid my disappointment and tried to look at him head on. “im sorry.” He started. As if realising his face had dropped revealing a softer side of him, he put on his usual scowl and cleared his throat. “what for?” I returned. Keith’s face lit up red like a beacon, if the situation were different. I may have found it cute, given the new information I had figured out. “Doesn’t matter.” He tilted his head away from me again, not that he looked me in the eye in the first place anyway. “im sorry, I should go and leave you.” He stood up to leave. I grabbed his wrist gently and pulled him into me. I stood up so that I could hold him appropriately. I wrapped him in a hug like I had three days ago and held him close to me. He tensed before finally relaxing into my body. “you don’t need to leave or be sorry. You can stay as long as you like.” I felt him smile against me before he lifted his head so that his eyes came in level with my nose. I was not about to miss a chance like this again. I leant forward and kissed him. I didn’t exactly know what it meant to me but this was special. Again, he tensed at the sudden change in pace before melting. I held his back for support and cupped the side of his cheek with my other hand. He placed his arms around my waist as I continued to deepen the kiss. God it was nice to hold him like this. If I were truly repulsed by him, I would not have willingly been kissing him and actually enjoying it. The smell of cedar wood and roses filled my brain. It was an odd combination of scents but it smelt like him and somehow, that was a comfort. I wouldn’t mind having that next to me on a regular basis. I pulled away eventually leaving him confused and uncertain of what exactly just took place.