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Chapter Thirty-One: Homesick

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That night, my room felt too big. Too empty. I kept expecting to hear the pacing of guards. Some arrogant quip from Loki. I tossed and turned in my large bed.

It was the early hours of the morning when finally I pushed myself up out of bed, and began to make my way down to the dungeon. I kept telling myself how stupid I was being the whole way down. What was I expecting to do anyways?

But at the back of my head, I knew it was Loki I wanted to see. All that past day, I couldn't get our almost-kiss out of my head. But thinking of that, I couldn't help but also think about Natasha, the Avengers, New York. Could those old feelings I'd once had for Loki really be coming back after everything? I shook my head. No, I'd never had any real 'feelings' for him. It had all just been harmless fun. But, then, how come the only time I'd felt truly safe in these last months had been when his arms were around me?

I made it to the dungeon, the chill seeping through my thin nightgown and racking my body. I folded my arms, and stuck to the shadows as Loki's cell came into view. Like usual, he was awake, flipping through some book.

I watched him silently, words like glue in my mouth. What could I say?

Eventually, the corner of his mouth turned up as he lifted his head slightly.

"How long are you going to hide there, pet?" he asked, without looking in my direction.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat and stepped into the light. Only then did he turn his gaze on me. His eyes travelled slowly up the length of my body as I approached his cell. I prayed he didn't see the heat colouring my cheeks.

"Homesick for your old cage?" he asked, quirking a brow and leaning forward, "Or, perhaps, for me?"

"You—"

"Are my enemy," Loki finished for me, "Yes you've made that clear. Then why, tell me, did you come here tonight?"

"I—" my jaw tightened when I couldn't think of words to form. Why the hell was I here? I knew why, but I couldn't tell him.

"Ah," he smirked, "So you are missing me, are you?"

"I miss the man you were," I said suddenly. Surprise flickered momentarily across his face but he hid it.

"The man I was died that day on the Bifrost."

"I know," I said darkly, meeting his eye, "Why?"

"I should think you of all people would know what it is to be lied to your entire life," he spat, "To crave use of power."

"I would give anything to be rid of my power."

He shook his head. "No. I've seen the way you look when you use your powers. You crave it."

As we talked, we each neared each other, until the glass was all that kept us apart. I looked up into Loki's eyes. Tried not to think about what he was saying. Midgard is still in danger of people like me, and you. The memory clawed at the back of my mind. I wanted to forget it. There was so much I wanted to forget.

"Why are you here?" Loki repeated.

"I want—" You. My mouth wouldn't let the words out. "I want answers."