Two Ghosts [h.s]

53

We've been sitting on this floor for quite some time. The house is quiet and our breaths echo through the cold room.

The dark. Where can I start? As a child, you grow up afraid of the dark. You sleep with a nightlight not brave enough to realize you're alone. Your mind is not confident enough to separate the scary movies you watch from reality.

But I was different, I liked the dark. That might be hard to understand but I adored it. It kept things hidden. I wanted to be hidden, to disappear and be forgotten. It was my dream.

I look up at Harry. "I used to not be afraid of the dark."

A hiccup passes my lips and we both pull away. "Violet let's go to bed you don't have to-"

"No. I feel like you barely know me and I want you to know me." I plead into his eyes. "To understand me better and why I am who I am."

If I grew up in a normal home he would've liked me. He would've loved the girl I would have grown up to be.

Crawling off of his lap I wipe the dried tears off of my face and take a seat against the wall. Harry follows and we sit side by side.

"I was envious of the dark. It hid things and made them disappear." I look at the wall. "I wanted to be invisible. Just spend ten hours alone where no one paid attention to me. Before I got nightmares I still never went to bed. It was my time when everything was quiet and I could be who I wanted." 

I loved the quiet. 

I don't look at Harry as I speak but I feel his sharp stare on me.

"I would hide in the darkness for as long as I could. Whether it was in my room or sneaking off to the backyard to watch the stars. It was the time where I felt infinite. All that pain throughout the day was worth it. I would've given anything to be a part of the dark. I wanted it to pull me away, I'd be happy there."

I wipe my nose watching the large window in front of us. 

"My parents never bothered me at night. Too busy sleeping and all... But one night they called me. My mom was yelling my name." My face cringes in remembrance. "Not yelling like she was dying but hollering my name like she needed something. It was a large house. So large it was scary but the tapping of her fingertips travelled down the walls to my bedroom. She needed something and I thought that if I helped she would love me again. So I got out of bed and walked to the door."

I take a moment and feel his hand reaching out for mine. I hold it and pull it into my lap. 

"Silence is peaceful but this was the type of silence that made the hairs stand up on your arms. Sending a terror down your body that made you afraid to look anywhere knowing your brain was creating the worst of it. " 

A shiver shakes my body and goosebumps trail over my skin. 

"After that... After going through the door for the first time, the dark scared me. The dark and quiet felt different." I shake my head. "It wasn't mine anymore." 

Turning to face him he wipes something away from the corner of his eye before I can see. 

"Have you ever loved something so much and it was taken away from you?" His eyes read through my soul before responding.

"Yeah, I did. My sister and my butterflies." 

Biting my tongue I turn back to the window. Him and I say these things so easily. That's what hurts the most.

It's our normal.

"Despite my home life, I showed up to school every day. Everyone liked me. I wasn't popular but I was likable. I was so kind to everyone because I never wanted to become my parents. What they've done to me made me kind. I turned myself into the person I would've loved. Someone who would treat me with the kindness I deserved."