Two Ghosts [h.s]

77

Trigger warning- brief talks of abuse.

Flashback

Violet- 13 years old

Laying in my bed with my teddy bear gripped tightly to my chest, I dont breathe or speak. My eyes are open wide as I listen to the hallways awaiting scarcely for any footsteps or voices. Last night they could hear me cough and, Michael, my father came in here upset.

I begged him to stop but he wrapped his hands around my sweater and threw me to the ground while my mother laughed. Kicking and punching me until I passed out I woke up with cuts and bruises all over my face but I couldn't scream or cry because they were still in the house. 

I scrubbed and scrubbed the blood off my skin but It never washed off and permanent bile has sat in my throat since then but I'm afraid to throw up because they'll scream at me. I just need a new set of skin. A new set of existence.

Whenever they go to work I always just cry. Sliding down the wall of my bedroom I sobbed and when I noticed the bloodstains on my carpet it only made me have a panic attack. Blood is just so triggering and I can never get away from it.

I never know what to do in those situations when I can't breathe. I always feel like I'm going to die but after all that pain I always wake up and have to do it all over again.

After sitting frozen for hours they officially go to sleep and the only thing I can hear in this big house is my breaths.

"Okay," I whisper to myself as I stand off my bed clutching Theodore and I reach to the drawer of my nightstand. Carefully pulling it open, I don't want to wake them or i'll get in trouble. They're either in a deep sleep or they're wide awake.

It depends on the night.

Pulling out my Mythology book there's thousands of pages about the stars and stories in here. I've always been scared they would find it one day and throw it out.

They don't like me to ever be happy.

I wonder what it feels like to be.

Taking my bear and book, as slowly as possible I creep to my door but on the way, I spot myself in my mirror and cringe. Looking at my reflection I can't think of one thing I like about myself. Not one single thing.

I'm covered in bruises, trauma and scratch marks from what I do to myself whenever I'm anxious.

Just like they always say, I won't find ever find anybody that likes me. I'm just a body in this world that takes up too much space.

Sniffing back my tears I turn for my door. Pressing my hands to the doorknob I turn it, scrunching my face in hope that it doesn't make any noise. I hope I'm magical but this needs to work.

If there are any fairies out there, please, I need fairy dust.

Successfully opening it I stick my head out and look left and right through the huge house. A smile plays on my lips.

I did it!

Holding my breath I quickly walk down the hall to the stairs. After about five minutes of slow movement, I make it to the bottom and jog through the hallway of the main floor.

This house is just so big it goes on for miles and that's what always scares me. There's nowhere to hide. Everything's out in the open.

Passing by the walls and expensive decorations I swallow down all of the horror stories that have happened to me in each place and make my way to the back door. Opening the glass door I step outside.

Once my feet hit the grass I begin to run until I'm positioned in the middle of the field and sit down crossing my legs.

Placing my bear in my lap I pull out my bok and set it in front of me. Opening it to my bookmark I lift my head to the sky and it all goes quiet. The stars brightly shine in the sky and as I sit under them I finally feel happy. Days are all worth it when I get to end at this moment.