𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN
✧
-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH HE CONTEMPLATES

. . .

Pandora Rosier wasn't a particularly happy girl.

But that didn't necessarily mean she was sad or anything.

Just that she was fuelled by something else completely. 

And unfortunately for everyone else, this was mostly anger, not at all conventional jealous and far too much free will. If she wanted it, she would get it no matter what. That was the sentence that ran her life, and held all three of those components within. 

Unfortunately for everyone, these three things seem to surface at different times. When she first came to school and quite literally terrorised a certain Remus Lupin in the Great Hall, that was completely out of her own free will and want for everything. When she stole a little girl's letter opener - pure unusual jealousy and free will. And when said little girl's older sister confronted her and a centuries-old statue was destroyed, that was anger. 

And when Remus Lupin found out that she had been listening to his little friends' conversations and he stalked off and Pandora followed, wrecking yet another statue - well that was different.

Of course the last part routed back to her anger, but the strange thing was that Pandora didn't really understand why she had done it. She didn't know why she had 'bugged' him - as he called it, she wasn't necessarily sure what that meant - didn't know why she had told him she knew about the part of him that he was so ashamed of it took him years to tell his closet friends, and she didn't know why she felt so upset about it afterwards. 

Pandora hadn't fixed the second broken statue either, and Madam Pince upon hearing the disruption had hurried out of the library and watched as the newest addition to the student body had stalked away from it, bag clutched in her hands and venom dripping from her in the form of dark butterflies and how everyone seemed to clear out of her way even without noticing. 

Since then, Remus Lupin had felt odd. The break in his newly formed schedule brought it, he assumed. They had met almost every afternoon since her slight obsession with him had begun, and after the halt in those as he was approaching and coming away from his transition. 

At first, he had felt insanely angry, unlike anything that he had ever felt before. How dare she try and break any sense of boundaries with her stupid magical butterflies that could do absolutely anything and everything.

How could she listen in on their conversations? He almost understood her using her legilimency skills to try and find out what his friends were saying when they were staring at her, but placing a butterfly on him in order to listen to everything else - that was pure pyschotic. 

But at that thought, he had faultered. Everything about her was like that. Purely pyschotic or something like that, whatever muggles would diagnose it like that.

And along with the free will, anger and strange jealousy, there was the idea that Pandora never really knew what she was doing was wrong.

He had heard with his very own ears, just before she had revealled her knowledge on his secret - about what her life had been like previous to attending Hogwarts. 

He had heard all about her mother was a pyschopath, how her father had killed her and then how he had been taken away. She was lying about something and it wasn't that hard to tell which part. 

"It's not too interesting. Just plain and simple." 

That's the part she was lying about there was nothing plain and simple about it. It was one of the most horrifying things that Remus could think of, to be brought up in a family like that.

But if Dysmonia Rosier had brought her daughter up to be just like her, then that would explain her actions.

Not to mention that Pandora had been living inside the very house in which the incredibly dysfunctional family had lived and would be so affected by that that it shouldn't come to a surprise that she had turned out in such a way that she didn't know the societal norms and how she could act. 

Either way, Remus had walked away from her. 

Just like everyone else in her life.

Dumbledore couldn't even provide her with anything like he had for the Lupin boy. Sure, he had given her a chance at the school, but he would never believe her. It was her fault when Amelia had started the arguement and hit her, it was her fault when the randomly sprouting butterflies had pushed that statue off. 

He saw her every day and just seemed to feel worse about it, a thudding guilt that he knew he shouldn't have. He had every right to do what he had, yet he couldn't help it. 

He saw her every day, sat alone at the Slytherin table with a visible gap seperating her from them. Not even the stereotypically 'evil' house wouldn't accept her, even if she was a Rosier and a Black combined into one. Saw her in classes, sat in the very back. Saw her in the corridor, peopple skirting out of her path.

She didn't have any friends, didn't have any family, didn't have any support from anyone except butterflies of her own creation. They had all turned their back on her, just like Remus had done. 

He couldn't help but feel bad for her, and now it was just going to be the question of whether he could manage being around her, manage to become someone to support her. 

He shouldn't, he knew that. His friends had celebrated when he quietly told them that their meet ups wouldn't happen anymore. He hadnt't told them why, but they were happy anyway. 

Everyone hated Pandora Rosier. He should too.

But yet he couldn't, not just yet.

✧

a/n
ironic thing is 
i'm absolutely terrified
of butterflies