𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 47

CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN
✧
-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH A NIGHTMARE
IS PUSHED TO THE FOREFRONT

. . .

"No one's ever called me kind before." Pandora stared up at him, wonder, confusion, marvel gleaming in her eyes. "You're wrong, by the way. I'm not kind. I never have been. I diidn't give you the coat out of kindness."

"Then why?"

"Because I was wearing the dress that Laurie had given me. My mother had killed her and now I was wearing my dress. I would have killed you too, so I gave you my coat."

Remus stared at her. Suddenly, she was back to being absolutely terrifying, but oddly enough he found it somewhat comforting. "You would have killed me, but instead you gave me your coat?" He repeated.

She nodded. "Mhm." She hummed, eyes back on the end of his tie as she twisted it around the ends of her fingers.

He supposed he understood. She was talking in riddles again, some form of metaphor constantly running through her words that only she could fully comprehend. On some level, Remus knew how it worked - she was wearing the dress that she had only gotten because the wearer was dead, and instead of letting him die, he had worn her coat.

It made sense in her mind, so he supposed it was alright.

Surprising himself just as much as her, Remus pulled her into a hug again, arms tight around her waist. For some reason he was so.. proud of her. The admission must have taken a lot seeing as she wasn't necessarily one to churn out the truths of situations and much preferred to dwell on them alone.

And he still felt guilty, really. About making her cry, about questioning things, about almost everything. But then again, it had ended with her answering something - which was more than he usually got.

Remus started as he saw a flicker of gold at the end of the hallway. It was only a blur, but there was no doubt in his mind that if it moved closer, he would see the distinct outline of a butterfly. It was almost as if it was watching them.

He cleared his throat, not bothering to adjust his position and feeling so insanely comfortable as she settled into his grasp, sat between his legs with her head turned downwards, dark hair brushing his chin. It was clear that neither had any inclination to move, or to make their way to their first lesson of the day.

"Pandora." He began, a sharp intake of breath on his own behalf as he felt fingers brush through the curls that settled over the nape of his neck. She smirked slightly; he could feel the adjustment of expression by his collarbone. "Pandora.. what are your nightmares about?"

Her actions stopped, before moving languidly again. There was a pause.

"The butterflies."

"Well I know that." Remus couldn't help but feel disappointed at her answer. She moved a couple inches, caught his eye. "You told me the first time.. said it was their fault after I found you on the top of the Astronomy Tower."

"It being the butterflies fault and them being the focus of my nightmares are entirely different." Pandora replied with an air of intellectual superiority as she settled down again. "But these days, it's mostly about the first time I saw them."

"First time you saw them? You mean, like when they first did something for you?" Remus asked. She shook her head.

"I was twelve. A year after my mother and father died. I dreamt that I walked through the forest again. I had dreamt about it before, relived the moment of disposing my coat over a stranger. But this time when I stopped walking I was stood in front of pond." Pandora was talking freely now, but Remus still got the sense this was somewhat had for her to do, and didn't dare to interrupt.

It was clear she had her moments, just like how she outright told him what had happened in her only significant memory of Halloween. This would be another one of the times when she didn't hesitate to tell the truth.

"It was deep, deeper than the river running nearby. With that you could still see the bottom, but this was deeper than anything I'd ever seen before. It was dark blue at the surface, reached black only a couple feet down. Seemed endless, and void of any natural life."

Surprisingly - although he supposed she had spent several years in a house with nothing to do but read - Pandora's ability to tell a story was nothing short of a gift. He could picture it now, her words weaving their way around the outlines he could see in his mind.

"I was looking at the otherside, watching a windmill butterfly struggled to spread it's wings and fly away when something grabbed my ankle. I looked down and it was my mother. But.. she was strange." Her tone was surprisingly even, clearly not as horrified by the scenario as Remus was. "She seemed to be covered in ink.. no - it was thicker, more like oil or a pitch-black honey. It stained, all over my shoes and socks, and she would have hated it."

"What happened then?" Remus pushed. He couldn't for the life of him imagine where golden butterflies came into this.

"She pulled me in. It was just a dark as it looked and suddenly I was surrounded by this substance that she had become. it was seeping into me, sucking me in." Pandora shifted in position. "I could feel her hands on me still, holding tighter and tighter until.. nothing. I was floating in nothing but darkness."

"Then I felt another hand, and when I tried to look down I saw I rope of butterflies around my feet, pulling me up towards the surface. I woke up before I could reach it." She subconciously leant into his touch as he brushed a curl of hair behind her ear. "When I woke up I was in a field."

"Not the house?"

She shook her head. "No, not the house. It was a couple of miles from it - I checked a map when I got back - but.." Pandora came to a stop again, sitting up and meeting his eyes. "I was surrounded by hundreds of dead butterflies."

Remus had to stop himself from reacting, fingers tightening around air. He swallowed. "Dead butterflies?" He repeated.

"I killed them." Pandora didn't hesitate in telling him, watching cautiously for any sight of a negative reaction. "Ripped the wings from their bodies. When I stood up, there was a trail of golden ones back to the house. The Ministry was there for me again."

She looked away, her eyes on the buttflies down the hallway. "It was the first time they ever protected me." She muttered.

And although all things seemed to point to that being true, Remus couldn't help but doubt it.

✧

a/n
merry christmas to those
who celebrate!