𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 28

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
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-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH STILLNESS REMAINS

. . .

Even when Pandora came to her senses, silent tears still bleeding out of the corner of her eyes yet mind just as clear as it would be in her waking hours; a stark contrast to how clouded it had been once having woken from her nightmare, her hands clutched Remus' jumper as if it were a lifeline. 

And for a short while, it had been. Tears had flooded down her cheeks and darkened a match of material near his neck, staining to a damp patch even when the downpour of salty liquid failed to continue.  

Just like any usual day, Pandora was embarassed and somewhat umcomfortable by having shown such an extreme display of emotion. Laughing at her table in the Three Broomsticks was something she considered to be where she drew the line at any positive emotion. 

Shedding just a few times was her limit for sadness. But she had traipsed far past that line after waking up. She couldn't help it if Remus had seen it. She had told him to leave, yet he hadn't.

That puzzled her, the thought of it joining the many others constantly circling her mind. She didn't know why her grip on his sweater seemed to be attached, as if she couldn't just let go. Something was stopping her from doing so, just like something had stopped her eyes from opening and letting her escape her nightmare until she had seen everything it had needed her to see.

Which was the same every time; the scenes in the dark dream that plagued her was drilled into her memory now. It had been so vivid in her mind after the very first time, and only grew on that as it occurred many times after.

It had been going on for years on end, night after night; of course she had it memorised. But she could never break through until the very end, having to follow the same horrific tale that played through each and every time. 

Remus didn't know about this of course. Perhaps he would have done had he not fucked up on the day of the Hogsmeade visit.  But he was also unaware that Pandora's nightmares ceased upon arriving at Hogwarts - there seemed to be a little influence of her surroundings to thank for that - but upon her falling out with him, they had returned.

But it wasn't because she had fallen out with him; Pandora knew she wasn't that affected by their argument and she was simply drawing it out to watch him squirm out of the corner of her eye at the Gryffindor breakfast table. As desperate as she might have been to prove otherwise, the falling out busied her mind to the point where it became impossible for her to sleep into the now freeing state of unconciousness, the simplicity of it all only enhanced by her own small dorm as opposed to the large master bedroom of the Cursed Castle. 

And when she couldn't sleep (and this was something that occured no matter the location, haunted house upon a hill or a castle in the Scottish Highlands), Pandora would find somewhere where she could. 

That ended up being the top of the Astronomy tower. She had only been curious to what it was like at night and only wanted to be up there for a few, calming minutes. But alas, her exhaustion had slipped too soon and she fell asleep leaning against the break in the railing of the tower. 

She had woken as the morning breeze pulled at her black nightgown, skin pale against the silky fabric, almost tumbling right off of the edge. But an invisible surface had formed under her once dangling feet and she knew that if she really wanted to, she could walked down from the tower not through the twisting staircase that had been used to reach her position, but by walking through mid-air.

Her butterflies had helped her with that; as they had on so many occasions, drawing from her inner magic to produce more and provide her utmost safety. They always had done that from her, ever since the very first butterfly appeared from her fingertip as she begged the Ministry of Magic to leave her house just days after she had seen her parents for the last time. 

It was disconcerting to think back to the forever clear images of the nightmare and realise that butterflies were prominent in every single one. 

And what they did there caused goosebumps to raise over her porcelain skin, the change in texture on her arms causing Remus to glance down at her, just as confused as she was to why there had been barely any movement on her behalf. Perhaps she was embarassed by it - that wouldn't surprise him considering her control over her emotions and how she had lost it in floods of tears. 

Silence hung amongst them, sometimes broken by a bird call or a shout from inside the castle. 

"It's all their fault." Pandora mumbled helplessly to herself, words caught up in the breeze. They reached Remus's ears and he looked down again. "It's all the butterflies' fault."

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