𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 61

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE
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-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH LILY SPEAKS TRUTHS

. . .

Remus knew things were fucked up when he looked around the corner of the party he had found himself in and he couldn't see any of his friends. Lily was nowhere to be seen, James, Peter and Sirius had gone as soon as Remus had told him to leave and Pandora had stood there for precisely two seconds after they had left before following in their footsteps. 

Only Regulus was left behind, and he slipped away out of Remus's sight when he was too speechless to try and figure out what the hell had just happened. He knew that when he saw Pandora and Regulus stood beside each other from across the room that it couldn't be good news - the younger brother of Sirius was notorious for looking down on his group of friends and anyone related and would most likely waste no time at all in filling Pandora's mind with posion or reinstate several familiar thoughts.

Either way, Remus knew he shouldn't have let them talk and for once regretted his intuition to not stop Pandora and trust that something insanely wrong that would ruin everything they had built for. He didn't want to control her - no, that was the complete opposite of what he wanted to do - but for once in his life he regretted his ability to trust in the benefit of the doubt and just wish he had interrupted their conversation. 

He could bear whatever insults Regulus threw his way, but he couldn't bear hearing whatever bullshit that Sirius spewed after finding out the truth. Everything had gone so wrong, although Remus didn't know what he had expected from keeping that from Sirius. He supposed that the fallout would have been forced to be much more minimal from the close proximities they would all be in the trasin carriage and the fact that he respected Euphemia and Fleamont to much to cause such a trouble. Remus could have explained more then, but instead the exactly wrong person had informed him and it couldn't be contained like he hoped.

Remus forced himself to place one foot in front of the other and begin his journey towards the door. He had to speak to someone - but that was conflict within itself. Sirius had pissed him off beyond belief, assuming and refusing to listen to his change in tone to Pandora Rosier and because of that, he didn't exactly want to see him. Instead, he would attempt damage control and try to find Pandora, as tricky as it would be given her magical capabilities and easy ability to hide herself (as proven by the fact she hadn't attended Hogwarts for the previous five years).

"Rem - I saw what happened." It was Lily, breaking off from a conversation with the vampire guest to place a hand on his arm and look incredibly concerned. "I... you don't feel like that, do you?"

"Like what?" He asked in a quick mutter, wanting more than anything to rid himself of any attention and just find her. Lily wasn't at fault, he knew that, but something had to be done. 

"What Sirius said. I don't feel comfortable repeating it all, seeing as it was a load of preconcieved, childhood-induced, stubborn bullshit - but you can't feel like that. Not to her, not after everything you've done for her." Lily said, ginger hair been shaken out of her face from her enthusiasm. 

"No. I don't feel like that. It's true that Dumbledore asked me to help with her and I didn't just shrug her off but it was more than that pretty quickly. I didn't... I never once did it because I was forced to, or because I don't have a backbone to get myself out of it. I think we've all guessed that Pandora's life is pretty fucked up and she's not an amazing person because of it. But none of us are fucking saints." He swallowed harshly, shaking his head. "I was never forced into it. She's done so much... made so much progress since September and it's so fucking disappointing that he refuses to see that."

"I won't pretend that you guys don't know more about Sirius's past than anyone else, and I can't tell you to excuse his behaviour because of it. Just understand that it's complicated for him, and - no - don't look at me like that, just listen." Lily placed a second hand on his arm, pulling him away from the group and towards the door. "Don't give up on it now. Make sure Pandora goes with you tomorrow. I think it'll do wonders." 

He avoided her eyes, too pissed off to listen to anything defending Sirius - although he did know where Lily was coming from. "Yeah. I won't." He replied, although there was a bitter taste in his mouth. "I have to go find here - you understand, right?" 

"I do." Lily nodded. "Go find her. And she's not a bad person, before you can be convinced of that by Sirius's nattering. She's not a bad person. She's just a product of a shitty environment and  you're only doing the best you can to help her. None of us are saints - but you are for doing that. Go. Convince her to go again tomorrow." 

The Lupin nodded. "Yeah, I'll go. Any idea of where she went?"

"No, none, sorry." Lily replied. "But I trust that you'll find her. I'll make sure no one will interrupt you guys." 

And with that confirmation, Remus slipped out of the shitty Christmas party and into the cold hallways of Hogwarts, hoping to find the one person he actually did care about that evening. 

He couldn't lose everything he had worked to. He couldn't give up on her now.

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a/n
i hate the reality of canon 
regulus (that would defo have 
done that shit to sirius bc he was 
prejudiced like that  but i deal with 
it through writing au fics about him 
(i have 2 on my acc xx)

and i write tasm peter parker fics on
my other acc (i have a 2nd one coming 
out @J4EHYUNS ) xx