𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 65

CHAPTER SIXTY FIVE
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-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH REMUS PANICS

. . .

Overall, he was wholly too uninterested in whatever conversation was currently taking place within the carriage. Remus had found himself impassive to most of the talking that had happened after they had gotten on the train hours before. He was too angry, too upset, too preoccupied to engage in whatever they were talking about, even if James had attempted to make things run a little more smooth during the train ride by inviting Lily, Marlene, Alice and Frank, as well as Mary and Dorcas to join them in what became a bit of a squish, despite them sitting in one of the open carriages. 

He was squashed into the corner of one of the booths with Sirius across from him and both Lily and Mary to his left, James sitting besides Sirius whilst completely engaging in whatever Mary was saying with several quick glances over to Remus whenever he murmured an incredibly short reply to Lily's attempts to involve him.

The Potter didn't know what to do, except give him time to calm down - but he didn't have time to let him calm down, the tension needed to have dissipated at least a little before they arrived at the Potters for Christmas and his mum found out something was wrong. Euphemia Potter was a wonder of a woman, always ready to take in waifs and strays like his best friend and Pandora - who she had never met but knew all about from her son. But James worried, seeing as he was only going off Remus's word, that if she did join them that something would be said wrong and it would all go pear-shaped. 

And if Pandora didn't somehow join them on the platform - and as much as James wanted her to (despite everything), the fact that she had given back Remus's coat without so much as coming near Gryffindor tower, it wasn't looking good - then he feared that the bitter attitudes shown between Sirius and Remus would become even worse and Christmas would ultimately be ruined. 

But there wasn't anything he could do, even if he managed to think something up, the obvious lack of Pandora was dulling Remus's mood even around some of his closest friends. The train journeys to and from Hogwarts were often filled with laughter and the enjoyment of the ride was carried through into into the evening. But now the air was bitter and awkward whenever silence fell, and people's headaches had to be suffered through because he would absolutely not allow for quiet to fall and would ensure that a new conversation would spring when one fell flat. 

And just as he had launched into what could the hundreth conversation about the possible outcomes of the Quidditch World Cup in two years time as they were coming very close to King's Cross station - this time it would be about the chances of Syria winning again after it's win the most recent final - Remus stood up for what might just actually be the hundreth time. 

"I'm going to the bathroom." He announced, Lily and Mary filing out into the aisle once more with nothing but polite expressions as they did so. All of them knew what he was doing, Sirius shifting in the corner to continue his act of staring out of the window as if the oncoming cityscape was the most interesting thing he had seen in a long time, as if Remus had never even moved at all. 

He disappeared out of the carriage at a record speed, bypassing the small room in which the toilet actually was and beginning the search of the train which he had been doing periodically since they left Hogwarts. He was yet to see her, and he knew his efforts were always going to prove fruitless when after the first search, nothing had come up.

But Remus wasn't one to give up, and the fact he was even looking for her amongst the many carriages and compartments that made up the Hogwarts Express as they made their way to stay at the Potters for the Christmas holiday proved as much. He had seen her on the platform, he was so sure of it. Yet... he wasn't. He was entirely unsure of whether or not it was her or not. But he was hanging onto hope that it was.

His search, for the final time, really did come back with absolutely nothing. Pandora couldn't be on the train and thus, would not be joining them on the trip. And he returned to their shared tables alone, the group sharing their goodbyes as the train pulled into the station.

The boys left the girls behind as they dragged their trunks from the overhead rails, James flinging an arm around Remus as they stepped onto the platform, ready to find his parents and go back to his house in the countryside. "Don't worry about it, Moons." He hummed in his ear, helping Peter drag his case off of the floor of the train. The Pettigrew thanked him, sticking dutifully with Sirius as James attempted to boost the happiness of his friend. "If she wasn't on the train then she'll still be at Hogwarts."

"Not necessarily. She didn't come on the train in September, did she?" Remus grumbled, quite unable to lift his spirits no matter what tale James was supposed to be spinning. He was in deseperate need of a coffee, the type with a shot of something in it. "She's gone back home, whether or not we see her in January is her choice."

James stared at him, patting him on the back in an attempt to cheer you up. "Try and look on the bright side, mate. She might have gone back home but it's not like she's there in the same conditions as she was last time." He shrugged. "Maybe you could write to her... you know where the house is, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know where it is." Remus confirmed, the memory of his younger self approaching the building prevelant in his mind, the address writing itself in there too. "I can write." He swallowed. "That doesn't mean she'll respond. And it's two weeks." 

"Maybe she just needs a little time." James shrugged. "She can make her way there by herself. I have no doubt that she'll somehow figure out our... address."  

"What?" It wasn't hard for Remus to spot the dip in his tone, which had been so forcefully positive for the last few hours. "What is it, James?"

"Nothing. I've just spotted my parents." The Potter replied, a hand pointing towards the crowd of wizard and witches that students of Hogwarts were flooding towards. Remus followed his hand, eyes landing on an overly glossy leather trunk, a pair of feet in heeled boots with a twisting pattern up them - something far too inappropriate to just ride the train there. 

And there, shaking the hand of James Potter's parents, was the same head of dark hair he had spotted on the Hogsmeade platform. 

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