Bianca's new life

Oh shit (Thirteen)

Bianca Pov

So we finished our first day of school after the summer holidays, (though why is that one of the worst days of the year?), we came home like you do, (before you ask, I'm setting the scene here), Teddy was in the kitchen doing something, well it was probably dinner let's be honest, (I mean it smelt really tasty, lol), and it honestly just felt homey, (is homey a word?, like genuinely, is it a word?).

"How was school?"
"I was fucking correct again about being mistook for a year 7"
"I can't help you with that Buba as I have never had that problem"
"Good for you Dad, good for you"
"No need to be so sarcastic"
"I get my sarcasm from you old man"
"(Snorts), that you do Kiddo, that you do"

Rowan then went and had a shower, (I guess that being mistaken for a year 7 is stressful lol), Mykie wasn't back yet as she was playing football with her mates, (honestly though, she could have gone professional if she really wanted to), Sophie was somewhere in the flat, (I wasn't exactly tracking everyone's every move here, as that would be a bit stalkerish), so it was just Teddy and I in the main room of the flat, (it was a dining room/sitting room/kitchen set up, ya know).

"How was school Sweetheart?"
"It was school"
"Ok"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making dinner"
"Ooh what's for dinner Dad"

It slipped out before I could even catch myself or correct myself, (it probably came out because it felt homey and shit here Babes), I didn't want to mess up my living situation with my feelings, I wanted the floor to swallow me whole but Teddy didn't even seem phased by what I just called him, (though with the other people in his household I'm not entirely surprised), I would've freaked it if I were in his shoes, but he was so not bothered by it.

"I'm so sorry-"
"Why are you sorry Sweetheart?, hmm?"
"Well I didn't even talk to you about-"
"Talking can be hard sometimes"
"You're not mad at me?"
"No, why would I be mad at you Sweetheart?"

It was like the penny dropped for me, (well it definitely dropped, but I really need to stop undermining shit), as that was the moment I realised that I wasn't there because of pity or anything like that, (I probably subconsciously knew before this, but it's still different to hearing it, ya know), but that I was actually there because they wanted me there, (a shocker I know).

"Because I'm not your kid-"
"No, none of that, you became my kid as soon you got kicked out"
"Really?"
"Yeah really, you call whatever makes you feel comfortable Sweetheart, ok?"
"Ok"
"Good"

Teddy went back to making dinner while my world was reeling from our conversation, (looking back on it, I shouldn't have been, but I was), I don't think that he meant to shake my whole outlook on the situation, (as people don't go out of their way to do as such Mate), to him it was just a fact, but it helped me feel more comfortable living there, (not that I was uncomfortable living there before, but I felt more comfortable living there, yes I know that it might not make sense to you, but it does to me).

I didn't say much else for the rest of the day, it might sound a bit dramatic but I went from thinking that I ruined everything, to it actually being ok and I had nothing to worry about, it felt a bit whiplashy, ya know, (or maybe ya don't know, I don't know what you actually know or not), and honestly some of it could have just come from starting back at school that day.

I was sitting on the windowsill at about 3 O'clock in morning, I was just looking out the window at the hustle and bustle going on outside, (it's London, it generally doesn't sleep at that much Babes), I was so focused on looking out that I didn't even notice that Soph walked in.

"Hey Bee"
"Hey Soph, you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine, I should be asking you that though as you're looking out the window wide awake at ungodly hours of the morning"
"I'm alright, can I have some advice?"
"You want my advice?"
"Well I wouldn't ask you otherwise"
"Sure, what do you want advice on?"
"How do I bring up calling someone Dad?"
"So that's what happened earlier, why didn't you ask Ro?"
"Because I know that her story on that includes Megan"
"Shit yeah of course, honestly just sit them down and ask them what they feel comfortable with being called"
"Thanks"
"No problemo"