Bianca's new life

Rainbow connection (Twenty-one)

Bianca Pov

So now that we had 2 babies in the house, (which was not quiet let me tell you), yeah nights were quite fucking chaotic to be honest with you here, though that's mostly because of Soph, if we're being 100% honest here, (though I'm not blaming her as raising a baby is fucking hard grafting here, and she loved Amy more than anything).

Anyway, it was early morning, (I mean no shit though, I was always awake early in the morning for some reason Babes), I was having a cup of tea to wake me up a bit since my sleep had gone to shit, though that had nothing to do with the 2 babies in the house, (as I wasn't sleeping before they were even born here Babes), so I'm not blaming anyone here.

Dad then came into the living room looking half dead, (babies can do that to you, ya know), so I made him a cup of tea, (as he looked like he really needed a cuppa here), (but no, I'm not calling him a zombie, as he's a bit more functional than that here Babes).

"Here you go Dad"
"Thank you Sweetheart"
"You're welcome"
"How are you feeling?"
"Why are you asking me?, you're the one that looks half dead"
"(Snorts), I appreciate the honesty, anyway I was asking you because you've not been sleeping properly"

I thought that nobody had noticed but clearly I was wrong, (like very wrong), because Dad had noticed, (I don't remember why I thought that I had pulled the wool over Dad's eyes, as I wasn't anywhere near being subtle at 15 years old here), so I just didn't attempt to convince him that he was wrong, (as that would've been a twat move because I would then be lying and that's never a good move), so instead I just played the 'you noticed' card, which isn't necessarily the best move to make, but I made it and I can only tell ya what I did, not what I wished that I did.

"Oh, I didn't think that anyone had noticed"
"Darling you're in a household that has actual insomniacs in, of course we'd notice if someone else wasn't sleeping properly"
"I guess when you put it that way it makes sense"
"Has anything happened that made you not sleep?"
"Not that I know of, I've just been struggling to sleep no matter how tired or not I feel"
"Ok, I think that we might have to go and get your sleep checked out"
"Ok"

So we sat there for a while, as you do I guess, the world seemed to be peaceful for a moment, (but I guess that when most people were asleep at this time, they it would seem that way), I wasn't used to the peace that came with the quiet, (actually peace in general was not something that I had much experience with anyway, ya know).

"Do you know why you haven't been able to get any sleep?"
"Not really, I just haven't slept well and I have been trying"
"I know that you've been trying to Baby, as you're a good girl"
"No,'m not a good girl"

Dad did look a bit sad when I said that, but it was what I thought was true at the time, (yeah I really didn't think much of myself here, did I), and it was just something that I needed to realise on my own, (which took quite a long time, like longer than I wanted to admit to here Babes), and sometimes I still don't quite believe it, but it is what it is here though Babes, ya know.

"Yeah you are, anyway Ro has not been able to convince me otherwise when it comes to her, and unfortunately for your case here, she's a lot more stubborn than you are Sweetheart"
"That's true, but I don't feel like I am a good girl though"
"(Kisses forehead), I know that you don't feel like you are, it unfortunately comes with the shitty parent territory, but I promise that I would never lie to you about this Darling"
"I know"
"Good, you're at least listening to me then, even if you don't quite believe me Baby"
"Har har, you're hilarious"
"Sarcasm's not gonna fix anything"
"I know Dad"

We sat there for a while, not really talking all that much, as we didn't need to, (that or it was too fucking early for it), so we just drank our tea and didn't do much else, (as it was definitely too early for breakfast here Mate), it was nice though, even if it was a little bit odd that we were awake and just having tea, (wording's not my strong point like at all Babes).