Bianca's new life

The world is your oyster (Thirty)

Bianca Pov

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I looked properly tired, I didn't know if it was from still not knowing what I wanted from life, or if I had somehow developed insomnia, (which wouldn't have shocked anyone in the house as half of them are insomniacs anyway), (insomnia is not contagious, thought that I should put that out there, just in case).

Anyway I went into the living room, as you do, (even if it's earlier than most people would do), it was still quite early in the morning but the sun was shining away like it was late morning, (though that could've been because it was still August, but I'm not an expert on the way the earth move or seasons or anything like that here), and Dad was drinking a cup of tea as per usual, (which meant that he had been up for a couple of hours as he usually had coffee for his first couple of hot drinks).

"Hey Sweetheart, you look tired, you feeling ok?"

Of course Dad knew that something was up, but honestly I was weirdly glad that he knew that something was up here, (even if that meant talking about my feelings), so I just plopped down beside him, (when I say plopped, like I was face down in the couch after a full force fall), secretly hoping that he'd know what that meant, (he did, of course he did, because it was not subtle at all lol).

"That bad huh?"
"Mm, life's a lot sometimes Dad"
"That it is Darling, there's something on your mind?"
"I'm worried"
"About what Sweetheart?"
"Everything"
"Ok, that's a lot, it's ok, I can work with that, we'll work through it together Darling"

So Dad being Dad, he was naturally really worried about me, (I know this by his face here, plus it apparently comes with the territory here), I hated that he was worried about me, but I couldn't really do much about that here, as I was not great at comforting people and I also couldn't just not worry about things so I definitely can't help anyone just not worry, so there's that for us to unwrap, (though I would prefer not to unwrap my feelings here).

"What if I chose the wrong and I end up hating what I chose to do as a career after I chose it?"
"Then you change your career path, you're not gridlocked into a career once you chose it Sweetheart, you're just 16, and as much as I want to sit here and say that I knew what job I wanted at your age, that would be a lie, but honestly very few 16 year olds know what they want to do as an adult, and some of the time they grow out of what they thought that they wanted to do"
"Ok"
"Plus most places like people having a slightly varied employment history"
"Is this from experience?"
"Yes, but also my Aunt Delia gave me that advice"

It made sense to me at the time, (it makes a lot more sense to me now as an adult that's has adulted a bit), but teenage me also didn't like being told that things could change and that it was ok, (as that meant acknowledging that time actually changes fucking everything), but I also said none of this to Dad here, as that would've meant that I had to explain my feelings and I was not about that Babes, (I am however paying for that mindset now).

So naturally we then had a cup of tea, as we apparently couldn't do anything else with talking about our feelings, though tea did have a proven result here, so there's that to think on here Babes, and it worked, so there wasn't a need to try anything else, (plus I do like a chat and a cuppa for emoting here), so we didn't change it here.

"Dad"
"Yeah"
"How did you figure it out?"
"I didn't really, I honestly just stumbled across the job I have and I quite enjoy it, I know that doesn't help you figure it out here Sweetheart"
"It actually helps a little bit, but not a lot"
"That's more than I expected it to, but in all honesty, as long as you like what you're doing, it doesn't really matter if it's not what you thought"
"That's actually solid advice Dad, I'll keep it"
"Gee thanks Kiddo"

We sat there having our cups of tea and pondering about life could bring, well maybe that last one was more me than Dad but it wasn't entirely out of character for Dad, but he did make sure that I didn't ponder for too long as it wasn't that healthy for me to do here Babes.