Bianca's new life

Court Date (Forty-three)

Bianca Pov

I had calmed down a bit from the fright of the thunderstorm, (which was not fun by the way), (and I was fucking exhausted but I knew that I wasn't going to sleep if I went to back bed afterwards, as I can't sleep while being wound up like a coil on a string), the weather was back to just miserable rather than bloody terrifying, (just the way I liked it), (how bloody typically British of me to discuss the fucking weather of all things, but it's relative to what I'm actually feeling that day).

Everyone was sat on the couches with a cup of tea, trying not to point out the obvious, (which I appreciated as that meant that I could actually process it), (they could tell by my mood that day), when an official looking letter came, (I don't know, I'm not into legal shit here), (then again most people aren't into legal shit I guess), (wait fuck I'm into illegal shit either, I'm just lacking in my legal mumbo jumbo here, alright), Dad opened the letters like his life depended on it, (probably because he thought it did).

"Bill, bill, bil- shit"
"What's wrong?"
"It's the courts, what do the courts want with me?"
"I don't know Handsome, it might be jury duty or something like that"
"Ugh, I would rather not, I would gulge out my own eyes before- well shit, not jury duty, we have a date for a hearing about Bianca"

Well that was one way of getting out of a post Thunder storm funk, (yes, that's exactly what I call it to this day, fucking sue me Babes), and I was both excited and anxious about the whole thing, (excited about the adoption, anxious about having to face her), (though I think the combination was somewhat obvious as she wasn't brought up that much).

We celebrated with having more tea, (as stereotypical as that sounds to you but it's the truth my dudes), and we also had some McDonald's breakfast, (this was banging, enough said), there's nothing that screams family time together like having McDonald's breakfast together, (or I have low expectations, I haven't entirely decided on which one it is yet, I'm hoping for the former though as the latter would actually make me feel so sad here).

It was both nice to know what date court was going to be and yet at the same time I felt like my insides were going to explode from anxiety here Babes, (I'm also not joking when I said that here), (though the tea probably didn't actually help me with that either as that's fucking caffeine and caffeine can effect how you emotionally regulate, but then again I am also Autistic so take that as you will).

Anyway, I was not feeling that great here, (shock horror), between the thunderstorm earlier that morning and the anxiety of having to go to court, (though I knew that we kinda had to go to court if I wanted to be adopted but I hadn't thought about it until the letter from the court came), I was trying not to cry as I was physically drained from all the crying I had already done that day Babes, (you would also be drained in my shoes here, alright, thunderstorms are fucking exhausting to me as I'm bloody terrified of them).

It was about an hour afterwards, it was just Papa and I in the living room, (I don't remember why that was but it just was, ok Babes), I didn't say much and I think Papa was a bit worried about that, (as I'm usually very bad at being quiet as I like filling said quiet normally), but I could not even force the words out my mouth, as it felt like my brain was in Fort Knox mode, (and I don't know why that was, as I'm no expert on emotions and shit).

"Hey Darling, Dad told me about the thunderstorm this morning, why didn't you tell us about it?"
"I didn't think that you could do anything about it Papa"
"There could have been things in place for you, I promise that I'm not lecturing you Darling because that doesn't normally work with anyone, but we could've helped you with it"
"I didn't think about that, as it wasn't an option for me before"

Yeah Papa was a bit lost for words, (which actually isn't as uncommon as it was with Dad, but it was still kinda weird to me), but I couldn't exactly take it back, nor did it change the fact that it was true, but I that I'm sometimes too blunt for my own good, (I don't think it's entirely the Autism but being autistic definitely doesn't help me sometimes my dudes).