Constellations

Wayward Sons

"Dean?" he heard distantly as he started to come back into consciousness. 

"Oh God Dean!" Sam gasped. He ran to the floor where Dean lay and pulled Dean's bruised face into his hands trying to shake him awake. 

"Dean, wake up!" 

It hurt to open his eyes, but he managed to do it with the little strength he had.

"Oh Dean, what the hell happened?"

"Cas," was all he could muster.

Sam sighed. "Okay, let's get you up." 

Sam pulled Dean off the ground slowly and brought him to the bathroom to wipe the blood off and bandage his cuts. He'd fixed Dean up more times than he could count. His hands moved like clockwork, he was so used to it. 

"How'd you find me?" Dean mumbled through his fat lip groggily. "We were gonna meet-we were-"

"Shh don't talk. You weren't responding so I tracked your cell... I'm sorry about Cas," Sam said hesitantly. He wasn't sure if Dean had realized Sam knew about him and Cas. He had stumbled into their apartment after all. If Dean didn't know Sam knew already, he would now. 

"I thought I could protect him, but I was wrong. I promised I'd protect him!"

"I know, shh don't strain yoursel-"

"Sam," Dean's voice cracked and he looked down, tears springing to his eyes. "I'm gay."

Sam smiled. "Okay."

"Okay? That's it?!"

"Dean, how did you think I would respond?"

"I thought you would be... Disgusted." 

"Disgusted? Dean, this changes absolutely nothing. You're still my brother, no matter what. I'm just happy that you feel like you can finally tell me."

"Finally? You knew?"

"You liking Cas was the thing I always knew about you, even when you were keeping other secrets."

"I don't like him, Sam, I love him," Dean said.

"I know I just wanted to hear you admit to it," Sam said laughing.

Dean smiled.

"I-I was going to ask him to marry me..."

"What?" 

"Before he lost his memory, I was going to ask him to marry me,"  Dean said, a tear staining his cheek.

"Oh."

"I just can't wrap my mind around it," Dean sighed.

"Around what?"

"I don't understand how he could just forget me-"

"Dean-"

"No, I know it's not his fault and I know it wasn't his choice, but I know that I could never forget him, not for one second, because he made such an impact on my life, on my soul, that even forever wouldn't be long enough to lift that, to erase him from my life, so I don't understand how it's possible that I could be erased from him."

"You changed him, Dean. You made him who he was."

"What, a fallen angel?"

No, you made him human. He was just a warrior, a soldier who only cared about the mission, but you showed him a better way to live. You showed him that he could feel and love and be loved. You showed him what it was like to be needed and wanted and cared for. You showed him what it was like to have a family that would do anything for him. You made an impact on his life, Dean, more than anyone else."

"Then how is it possible for him to forget me at a snap of a finger?"

"His memories were erased, Dean, but your impact is still there; it managed to break through everything."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, the dizziness coming back and his vision getting blurry.

"I mean that through everything that happened to him, he still chose to love you. He will always choose you Dean, because that's the one thing he could never forget." Sam smiled sheepishly.

Dean smiled back at him and gasped.

"Dean?!" 

He collapsed in Sam's arms. Sam sighed and rested his head on Dean's shoulder.

And even though he knew that Dean couldn't hear him, he said, "You will always be my big brother. I'm proud of you."