Constellations

Sam Knows All

"I told you to look over the things I sent you!!" Sam exclaimed into the phone after hearing Dean recount his story about his first law class and the way Cas saved him. It was the night after the date and Sam had called insisting on details about Castiel.

"I did!"

"No you didn't. If you did, you would've known the answer!"

"Okay maybe I skimmed, but still those teachers harass me! I don't understand why you wanted to do it in the first place."

There was a moment of silence and Dean sighed knowing he had said something he shouldn't have. Before he could apologize, Sam continued speaking.

"But Cas saved your ass so at least you didn't get thrown out of the class. Did you talk to him after? Did he seem like himself?" Sam asked. 

Dean thought quickly; he couldn't tell Sam about the date. Sam didn't even know that Dean and Cas had been together before his memory was erased. So he lied.

"Uh- I said thanks to him after class, and he told me that the teacher was an asshole and um, then I tried talking to him more, but he was in a hurry to get to his next class."

"And you didn't follow him? You didn't find out anything useful?"

"Well-"

Dean had to tell Sam about what he now knew, but how?

"I followed him later when he was going to a bar with a friend from the class and then his friend left to be with his girlfriend or something and I was alone with Cas."

"And?"

"And he's brainwashed Sam. Somehow, Metatron got him to believe all these lies about his life. He thinks his parents died in a car accident when he was 18, then took care of himself, put himself through college, and got into law school full ride. He says he has no siblings and no outside family at all. He believes every detail of what he's saying."

Dean could hear Sam sigh over the phone. "But is he... him? Does he act similar or is he a total douche bag?"

"I- he-"

He was still in love with Dean, that hadn't changed, but Dean couldn't tell Sam that.

"He's not an asshole; he's kind of himself, but, I don't know how to explain it."

Sam paused a moment. "Is this too much for you, Dean?"

"Oh shut up Sam."

"No I'm serious Dean; if it's hard to be around him or with him. I mean, he's a new person it must be difficult to say the least-"

"Sam, I'm fine seriously."

"I could go over there-"

"No. I'm more than okay; I've got this covered, I can handle it. Good night Sam."

"Dean-"

Sam heard the dial tone before he could finish. 

He slammed the phone down in frustration and plopped down on his bed. 

Did Dean not trust Sam? Was he afraid of how Sam was going to react? Why couldn't Dean just tell him what he already knew? 

That he was in love with Castiel. 

Of course Sam knew; Sam knew before even Dean knew!

He could see it in Dean's eyes; Castiel had changed him. The way he would talk about him after he met him made Sam laugh. He kept ranting about how awful all the angels were, but he couldn't decide on Cas just yet. He would say, "All those angels are dickbags I swear, Sam! And Castiel... He's- He's a soldier, but he doesn't know what he's gotten himself in- God those freaking angels!" And he'd stalk away clearly thinking about how he felt about Cas. The first time Sam met Castiel, he was reminded of Dean; sure he was more... socially challenged, but he was the same as Dean underneath it all: a soldier blindly following his father's orders, lost, doubting, and afraid. Dean changed him too. Cas would do anything for Dean, even when Dean wasn't sure about him yet. 

Dean was never one to open up to people outside the family. It took Dean a while to warm up to Cas, but when he did, Sam knew Dean was in love. He'd see him stare at Castiel when he thought no one was looking; Castiel was a little more obvious about it. If he would come into a room, he was always close to Dean and would fixate on him when he was speaking completely mesmerized by him. Dean always tried to be cooler around Cas like he was trying to be impressive, but Castiel was already impressed. 

But then Cas and Dean were in Purgatory for a year. When Dean came back, he wasn't himself and it was because the person that made him who he was was missing. Cas made him better and he hadn't made it back. Dean held himself together pretending like it didn't faze him, but he would have horrible nightmares where he cried out for Cas waking up in a sweat with a tear falling down his face. Dean thought Sam hadn't noticed, but he did. When they found out Cas was still alive, Sam saw Dean's burden become less and saw a light in his brother's eyes he hadn't seen in a while. Cas made Dean feel alive and hopeful. 

And then one night when the three of them had celebrated over drinks, and Sam had gone to his bedroom, he heard them. He heard them talking and laughing and then he heard them go into Dean's bedroom and lock the door. At that moment, Sam grinned, covered his eyes, and whispered, "Finally."